Costs more now, but it’s much better in the long run

October 26, 2010

in Seeing Clearly

Last week Seth had a great little post entitled “Efficiency is free”. I have a similar thought about marriage.

The more effort we put into our marriages early on, the less total effort we must do in the long run to get the same results.

At any point in our marriage, we still have the choice to work a bit harder now, or work a lot harder later. We can get by initially on very little effort; we can skim and slide by – but only for a time. Eventually the initial low cost effort path will lead to much more effort being required.

Another example of this is time: if you give our bride a reasonable amount of time from the start, she will be a happy with the amount of time over the long run. If you short her time initially, she will grow more and more resentful, and eventually she will only feel satisfied with far more of our time than if we had started out with somewhat more time.

Bottom line: What seems like the easy way now is probably the hard way in the long run.

(And yes, this also applies to those who short their spouse sexually. Any time we are denied, we feel a need for more than we really need to stop feeling denied.)

2 comments
john toner
john toner

As per usual, excellent comment. Reminds me of Zig Ziglar's simple quote - about life in general, but certainly applies to marriage as well: "When you are HARD ON YOURSELF, life is EASY on you. But, when you are EASY ON YOURSELF, life is HARD on you."

Eleutheros
Eleutheros

Yes, I can agree easily with this because of the differences I've noticed between my two marriages. My precious one and I did a lot of things together for our first four years- really a lot. And so now, with my time-sucking job, and some financial bugaboos keeping us from being able to do the 'big things' we used to be able to do, the little things are quite satisfying and don't need to last as long. It wasn't this way when I was first married. The wisdom of Jehovah, found in The Instructions that He gave to the Hebrews, declare: "When a man takes a new wife, he shall neither go forth with the militia host, nor shall any matter of duty pass on to him. He shall be exempt for his house one year and rejoice with his wife whom he has taken." Deut 24:5 CLV. The wisdom of Jehovah is always good and insightful and leads us toward being good ('a lamp unto my feet' was how that poet put it), exactly as we were created to be! So, thanks, Paul, for your wisdom, which is similar in effect.

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