Does your marriage have a fear tax?

November 11, 2010

in Communication, Understanding Her

A while back, Seth wrote about the “Fear Tax” things done out of fear that don’t actually benefit anyone. We do something that adds cost money, or time, or frustration, and we don’t really get anything for that.

It’s easy for things like this to develop in a marriage. You’re not sure something would upset your bride, but rather than risk it you don’t do it, or you do it only when she’s not around, or you make excuses or apologise or whatever. Or, maybe something used to be an issue, but it probably is not now – but rather than risk it, you act like nothing has changed. Perhaps you did or said something once, and it got a negative reaction, so rather than finding out what upset her (or if she was just having a bad day) you avoid everything that is even close to what you did or said.

On the other side, can you see places where your bride might be doing this? Has she stopped doing or saying certain things possibly because of a bad reaction from you? Or, is she still not doing something that used to be a problem for you that would not be a problem now?

Think, and then talk. Do all you can to avoid unnecessary efforts or restrictions.

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