Does your marriage grow after failure?

November 12, 2010

in 1 + 1 = 1, Good Marriage, Links to good stuff

A few months back, Steve Hoefer did a post entitled “How To Fail Successfully”. I think much of what he wrote can, and should, apply to our marriages.

Marriage is the joining of two people so different that some have attributed them to coming from different planets. No matter how much a man and woman love each other, they are still a man and a woman – and as such are radically different in a large number of ways. Mistakes and “failures” are to be expected – and if we are smart, we will see them as chances to learn and grow. Each failure can teach both of you something about the other, and that means it can be stepping stone to something good.

Have a talk with your bride and see if you can each learn to see mistakes as opportunity for growth rather than a horrible slight or injustice.

1 comments
Rich
Rich

(Been reading your blog for a month or so. Great work! Clean, strightforward, yet dignified. The integrity of the marriage arangement as it was intended by The Creator is right up front. Rare thing these days.) Right on! One thing worth pointing out about handling failures is not to assign blame. Ever. If the hubby screwed up, he needs to own it. If it was something beyond his control, be realistic, and if it was the wife's fault, don't be aggressive about it. Lovingly talk about it at the right time, because if you don't, she will build walls around her heart 50 feet thick and 500 feet high and before you know it, you'll be roommates (again, for some of us). However, if you treat her like "the weaker vessel" and become that "safe place" or that "rock" no matter whose at fault, that critical element of trust will be safeguarded. At least this is from my own experience. Results may vary.

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