Christmas shopping

December 6, 2010

in Gifts, Series

Okay, first things first – every year I get some folks who follow Jesus telling me to boycott stores that don’t use the word “Christmas” in their Thanksgiving day ads, and other folks who follow Jesus telling me that Christmas is deeply pagan and I should repent of ever celebrating it and pray that I will be allowed into heaven none-the-less (that is almost not a joke with some). You each have your own beliefs, and if giving gifts on the 25th of this month violates those beliefs, then take what I have the next few days as advice for when you next give your wife a gift. Alternatively, just don’t read for a few days.

Done right, gift giving can be a wonderful thing. More than just giving her something, you can show her that you are aware of who she is and what she enjoys. This, of course, takes some time and effort, but it’s well worth it if she is going to receive the gift in the spirit in which it is given. Don’t settle for an easy, generic gift, find something that she will really appreciate for some reason. If how it’s wrapped matters to her, make it nice (most malls have gift wrapping services). If having it more than 12 hours before it is to be opened matters to her, then have it wrapped and in clear view a week out.

If her love language is gifts, this does not mean she is looking for fancy or expensive – for her it really is the thought that counts. A great way to bless a gifts woman is to give her a number of gifts, and/or to spread them out over a number of days. A “twelve days” of giving really works for this kind of woman. (Note – technically the twelve days of Christmas start on Christmas day, and doing twelve gifts starting on that day may actually be better. You decide.)

A word on the “if” in the second paragraph – there are some women out there who have gift expectations that are impossible to meet. I know a fellow who has managed maybe half a dozen acceptable gifts out of about 100 gifts he has given his bride, with the vast majority of the gifts he has given resulting in obvious dissatisfaction; and he tries VERY hard to give a great gift each time. I’m sure the real issue has nothing to do with the gifts, or even with him, but he is stuck in the cycle. If your bride is unreasonable about gifts, you can keep playing and losing, you can give up and give gifts that most would consider lame, or you can decided to give gifts a reasonable woman would find nice, and not beat yourself up every gift giving date that comes along. Personally, I think the third choice is both easier on you and ultimately better for your marriage. However, what do I know, my wife is easy to please when it comes to gifts!

1 comments
Rich
Rich

Thanks for this post for two reasons: The theme, and the season. My lovely wife and I are working on my gift giving. So these thoughts reinforce some of the things we talked about (what I mean by using the word "talk" is that for the last 7 years, I have not been paying attention, ridiculous, I know, but I'm taking notes now, so when I say we "talk" that means I am learning about her. I guess until now I thought more of myself then I really was, being blinded by her outer beauty (she is a very, very fine example of God's creative ability, as far as I'm concerned, right up there with sunset, mountains, pictures from the Hubble Telescope, etc.). Now I am focusing on her inner beauty, and what I am finding is that there is nothing to compare it with in Creation...what I'm saying is God's greatest creation (here on Earth) is the human heart, exercising love toward another human heart). The second thing is thank you for addressing the fact that some folks don't celebrate Christmas. I'm Christian, and I don't celebrate Christmas for a whole slew of scriptural reasons. That doesn't mean I don't believe in Jesus, of course, and it doesn't mean I'm shaking my finger at anyone for celebrating it. Reading your site is the 4th thing I do when I get out of bed in the morning. I look forward to the daily advice on a wide range of topics, coming from someone who has the core scriptural values of a Christian marriage as a foundation. although I take everything with a grain of salt, I feel pretty safe reading here. I appreciate that.

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