My passion in life is to see better marriages and better sex in those marriages. It took a number of years for that to move from mild interest to full on passion, with the last few years bringing a huge increase in my desire to be used of the Lord in any way possible to bring about better sex and marriages.
Why a focus on sex? Why not just marriage? In part, this is because of our past – my bride and I needed help with our sex life, and we could not find it in the church. Even today, there are thousands, probably tens of thousands, of places to get good, godly, marriage help, but barely hundreds to get biblically sound help with sexual issues.
Another reason for the focus on sex is that I have become painfully aware of how much damage well meaning (and sometimes not-so-well-meaning) Christians have done in the area of sex. Many of the problems couples suffer have roots in Christian sex teaching that have nothing to do with the Bible (or are even contradictory to what the Bible says). Moreover, by abdicating a leadership role in teaching about and discussing sexuality, the Church has given the world free reign. I perceive that some of the sexual sins and excesses we see around us are a wrong reaction to the wrong teachings of the Church. In short, the Church has done a massive amount of harm to sexuality. As a follower of Jesus, and even more as a pastor, I feel an obligation to do something about wrongs the Church has imposed on both its own the world. My past, my study, and my passion all urge me to teach and bring healing in the area of sexuality; how could I not go there?
My prayer is that 2011 will be a year of growth for you, your marriage, and your sex life. I pray that you can set aside pride, fear, and self-protection so that you can learn new skills and find new ways. I pray that a year from today each of you can look back and say “That was the best year yet for my marriage and my marriage bed!” I also pray that one year from today each of you will expect the next year to be even better. Please know that no matter how bad it looks, it can turn around. Please also know that you can start down the road to better even if your spouse is unwilling. Start growing, and pray the Lord will use it challenge your spouse.
Links to blog posts that stood out to me this last week:
Better Husbands and Fathers
Resolve to be a Better Husband and Father in 2011 and Beyond!: What forty wives want from their men. Does your wife want any of these things from you?
Black and Married with Kids
A Look Back – Top 10 Posts from 2010: I’m not big on top ten lists, but there are some great posts here.
Having an Affair With Privacy: YES YES and thank you for this article, Reginald. If you think you should have privacy from your bride in any way, you MUST READ this.
http://www.betterhusbandsandfathers.com/2010/12/resolve-to-be-better-husband-and-father.html:The death of a spouse: it’s not something we want to think about, but we really do need to take some steps to be ready. This quest post covers the bases well.
Happily Married After
Why You Can Never Keep Your New Year’s Resolution: Great stuff here. If you want to make resolutions, PLEASE READ THIS!
Married Life from hitched
Quick New Year’s Resolutions for Your Marriage: A nice list – pick a couple and go for it!
One Flesh Marriage
Twisted Resolutions : This is BRILLIANT!
The Romantic Vineyard