“They Do Not Need To Go Away…”

January 17, 2011

in Guest Author, Her Needs, YOU4HER

NOTE: This is a guest post by Annalea

Go Away © Patricia Kullberg | Dreamstime.comAs a Christian wife, you may have heard your husband say something to you along the lines of, “I can’t help you with that. You just need to go to Jesus to get that need met.”  In fact, I was listening to the car radio a few days ago and our local Christian station was advertising some kind of marriage seminar/workshop and the ‘husband’ in the ad said the same thing. I don’t know about you but that was SO disheartening for me to here. Now, I know (that I know that I know) that Jesus is my all in all and that He alone can meet my every need.  I also know that as a Christian husband, Michael is a representation of Christ to me and the Lord has equipped him to do this.

I want to take a look at a passage of scripture from Matthew that most of us are familiar with – Jesus feeding the 5,000:

As evening approached, the disciples came to him and said, “This is a remote place, and it’s already getting late. Send the crowds away, so they can go to the villages and buy themselves some food.”

Jesus replied, “They do not need to go away. You give them something to eat.”

“We have here only five loaves of bread and two fish,” they answered.

“Bring them here to me,” he said.  And he directed the people to sit down on the grass. Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the people. They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up the twelve basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over.
Matt 14: 15-20

Our pastor was speaking on this passage last Sunday and while he was going over this verse, I had a bit of a revelation about it with regard to marriage. I was so excited about it as I was feverishly taking notes and poking Michael and saying, “Babe…look at this!”

Before I break down what I want to show you, keep in mind what I mentioned in the first paragraph and also know that not only do many Christian husbands have the belief that they can’t meet their wives needs, they come to a knee jerk conclusion that it’s impossible.

The break down…

As evening approached, the disciples came to him and said, “This is a remote place, and it’s already getting late. Send the crowds away, so they can go to the villages and buy themselves some food.”

A Christian husband may think:
I’m just one person, and I’m tired. My wife needs to leave me alone and get her needs met somewhere else. She needs to go to Jesus to get fed.

Jesus replied, “They do not need to go away. You give them something to eat.”

I love Jesus’ answer:
She doesn’t need to go anywhere. You have food to give her; you can meet her needs.

“We have here only five loaves of bread and two fish,” they answered.

A Christian husband thinks:
I don’t believe what you say Lord. I don’t believe in my ability to supply her with what she needs. You know what my life is like and I’m trying to work through my own junk. I barely have anything to give and she needs SO much! I can’t do it. I’m not You.

“Bring them here to me,” he said.  And he directed the people to sit down on the grass. Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the people. They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up the twelve basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over.

Jesus sums it up beautifully:
Let’s see what you have. Okay. No problem. Give thanks for it; it doesn’t matter how little it is or even if you think you have nothing. Present it before the Father and thank Him for who He is, for what He can do, for your bride and for His belief in you. Then you’ll see. You will feed her. In fact, you’ll have so much food that you’ll be fed too. Even your children. In fact, you’ll have so much that you’ll have to store up the reserves.

To husbands who tell us that they can’t bring healing to their wife, we give this illustration:

Your wife is sick. You lay hands on her and pray over her and she gets healed. Did you heal her? No. God did. AND he used you as the conduit to bring that healing.

Did the disciples feed the 5000? No. Jesus did. AND he used what little the disciples put before him to do it.

If you’re still at a place of scratching your head with a question mark above you, “but how do I do this for my wife and my specific situation?” We get it and the answer is simple. You find a couple who’s already walking this out which is what Michael and I did and here we are now, willing to be that couple who helps you and your spouse in your journey to a restored marriage!

Michael and Annalea - Author's ImageMichael and Annalea do Your Marriage Restored.

“We’re not licensed counselors, MFTs or Life Coaches; we’re a believing married couple wanting to share with others what’s worked for us like nothing else has.”

“If we can do it…You Can Do It Too!”

3 comments
The Generous Husband
The Generous Husband

@Andrew - I can think of a couple reasons that happens. 1) She is afraid that letting him meet her needs makes her dependent on him, or gives him control. 2) He is trying to meet needs other than those she wants and needs him to meet. There are no doubt other reasons.

Andrew
Andrew

I liked your post, and I think you made a very valid point. However, this assumes that the wife actually wants her husband to meet her needs. When your best attempts at trying to meet her needs fall short, it becomes easier to believe that you just can't meet them, or she doesn't want you to meet them.

Take Two
Take Two

I have to say this is probably the best post I have seen here. I was critical of several post last week (hopefully the right way), but this clearly makes the point I have try to make (apparently not very well). Men, you, and only you, can do it. It's good to know I am not alone. Keep in mind your just confusing us if you post something like this behind a post about the stupidity of men. No wonder men are confused and don't bother to read. Keep in mind men know what they are doing even when women don't believe them.

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