I recently had an e-mail from a man whose bride had an affair while on a mission trip. The counsellor that is helping them put their marriage back together commented that this is increasingly common in churches. Sadly, this is the case. One spouse goes, and one stays, and the one who goes has a physical affair, or an emotional affair, or tries to have an affair and is rebuffed, or has someone make advances on them. I’ve also seen individuals who return from a mission trip feeling distant from, or disgusted with their spouse.
I think in part this happens became some people use a mission trip as a way to find excitement, to open new parts of themselves, to escape from things they don’t like, or for other reasons that are not the reasons someone should be doing mission work. Even when the reasons for the trip are right and good, a man or woman at risk for an affair is putting himself or herself in a very dangerous position.
How do you avoid this risk? The best option is to do mission trips as a couple – or as a family. This protects you, and it makes the trip a way to build your marriage. The next best option is to go as a part of a church group so you are surrounded with people who know you. Going alone, surrounded by people you don’t know, is asking for problems.
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Links to blog posts that stood out to me this last week:
New Blog this week: Couple Things Blog is fairly new, and so far low volume, but it has some good post – hope to see more from Rowan & Mara Fraser.
Black and Married with Kids
On Why He (or She) Doesn’t Listen: A great MUST READ article on communication – or what passes for it – in marriage.
Couple Things Blog
Inside Her Head: The question she needs you to answer – frequently.
Relationship 911: The First Step That Resuscitated My Marriage: Great guest post from someone who’s marriage cam back from the brink.
Journey to Surrender
Of All Days…: “Disappointment Leaves You With a Choice“
Battling Debt for Better Marriage: A timely and well done guest post.
Is Your Relationship Better than Your Friends’ Relationships?: Why comparing is a bad plan.
Can Excessive Work Outs Give Your Marriage a Beating?: “…a recent article about excessive exercising reminded me that just because something is good for you does not mean more of it is better for you.”
One Flesh Marriage
The Energy of I Am!: This is how a Godly man reacts to positive changes in his bride.
The Romantic Vineyard
10 Hindrances To Cultivating A Romantic Vineyard #5 – Wrong Motives : What are your motives for having a good marriage?