In a post entitled Hitting Ctrl+Alt+Del When Life Gets Complicated, Tara Pringle Jefferson made the following comment:
“Take one day a month to pinpoint (and then stop doing) the things that annoy you.”
It’s a great post, and I recommend it to you. However, here I want to go where that comment took my “find a marriage lesson in everything” mind. What about your home life/marriage makes you crazy? What about your bride, what makes her crazy?
Maybe it’s something “minor” like how the toilet paper is hung, or empty ice trays in the freezer. Maybe it’s something most significant that causes a lot of frustration, or more work, or makes one of you feel unloved, unappreciated, or unheard.
Work up a SHORT list of things that drive you crazy, and ask your bride to do the same. Then exchange. This is not about right or wrong, or the correct or best way to do things – this is about things that really bug one or the other of you. Look at her list carefully, and pick one thing on that list that you can change for her. Don’t make promises, just make changes. When you have reduced her list of crazy making by one, pick another; then another.
As for your list, just give it to her and drop the issue. If she is really going to change things on that list, she has to want to; she has to choose to. As you whittle her list down, the chances of her working on your list increase.
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