@GottmanInst: There is no such thing as constructive criticism. All criticism is painful. Criticism doesn’t make a relationship better.
After I thought about it, I realised I actually do agree with that, and the problem was how I was defining things. I tend to think of criticism in terms of analysing the good and bad of something. When I looked at a couple of dictionaries, I saw that the most common definition was something like “The act of criticizing,especially adversely.” With that as the meaning, then I would agree – all criticism is painful, and “constructive criticism” makes about as much sense as “constructive abuse” would.
Yes, there is a place for letting our bride know we think she has done something wrong, or that she could improve on something. The question is this; can you do it in a loving way? Can you point out the problem without pointing a finger? If you cannot, maybe you need to work on at before you do any more pointing!
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