One important difference between an affair and being married is married people sleep together after they “sleep together”.
Yeah, sex is great; but so is sleeping together. Snuggling, falling asleep, reaching a foot out in the middle of the night to feel that she is there, and waking together. All of this is great too, and very good for a marriage. Beyond that, there’s a lot going on that we can’t see or measure: things that are a result of prolonged exposure to the scents and pheromones of our spouse. Unless you work together, from the same chair, there is no other way to get the level of pheromone exposure you get from sleeping in the same bed. Science is still working out what that does for us, but it’s becoming clear that it helps to synchronises a couple in many ways, including emotionally and sexually.
Sadly it is increasingly common for couples to not sleep together, or for one to come to bed after the other is asleep, and then for the one who went to bed first to get up while their spouse is still asleep. There are no shortage of reasons and excuses for this, but in all but the most drastic of situations, the couple is putting these things ahead of something that is good for both of them and their marriage.
Do what it takes to sleep at the same time in the same bed:
- Ear plugs
- Snore Guard
- White noise machine
- Light mask
- Bed where each side can be set to a different firmness
- If one of you really needs less sleep, go to sleep together, and do your best to crawl back into bed when the other wakes.
Image Credit: © Jean Reimbold | Dreamstime.com