Master of one does not make you a good spouse

April 25, 2011

in Her Needs

There’s a difference between necessary and sufficient conditions. Lettuce is necessary to make a BLT, but it’s not sufficient. You need other ingredients.” Nate Kornell, Ph.D

Got bread? © Matt Antonino | Dream

Got bread?

Having a good marriage requires far more ingredients than a BLT (bacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwich), and a great marriage is even more complex. One trap it’s easy to fall into is trying to become an expert at one aspect of being a great husband while ignoring one or more other necessary aspects. Often we focus on something we do well, improving it rather than working on something that we find difficult. This is understandable, but it’s like being able to bench press 350 pounds while having legs so weak you can barely climb a set of stairs. Other times we focus on something she once said she needed us to work on – and then we stay on that track to the detriment of other necessary skills. Still other times we choose the one thing we most want to improve (sex maybe?) while ignoring other areas that clearly need work.

Whatever the reason, if one or more necessary parts of being a great husband are being ignored, diligence in other areas is of little benefit. Work on the areas where you are weak, and especially work on things she indicates she would like you to do better. Be sure to regularly discuss what she feels needs work so you can stay balanced.

Image Credit: © Matt Antonino | Dream

1 comments
Jody McBride
Jody McBride

A great reminder that marriage is a relationship and relationships have many facets to them. To focus on any to the detriment of others is not wise.

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