Are you following a bad example?

April 29, 2011

in Good Marriage, Marriage Killer, Seeing Clearly

Yesterday I suggested that some marriage problems are a result of wrong ideas. Ideas about how marriage should be, what it means to be a good husband, what a wife is supposed to do, and so on.

This means our source for “how marriage should be” is of critical importance. Unfortunately, a growing number of people are growing up with no opportunity to watch a good, healthy, loving marriage.

Bad example? © Dmstudio | Dreamstime.com

If your parents divorced, or were not married to start with, you know you didn’t get a good example from them. So where does your idea for what marriage come from – TV and movies? Books?

If your parents were together, and stayed together, how do you know that what they showed you is how it should be done? We tend to assume that what we know as we grow up is “right”, even if it is actually very “wrong”. If dad beat mom, his sons are far more likely to beat their wives than if dad did not beat mom; and far less likely to see it as wrong. Likewise with how dad showed respect – or did not show respect. What mom and dad did, what they expected, and how they talked/argued/yelled at each other all become our basis for normal – and right.

As a husband, what example are you following? Is it a good example – and how would you know if it were not? Are you expectations of your wife reasonable? Is your treatment of her what it should be?

Image Credit: © Dmstudio | Dreamstime.com

1 comments
Scott
Scott

Sadly, most of the "high profile" marriages are bad examples. Very bad. And even many of the marriages we see immediately around us aren't so great. I have blogged before about the importance of those with great marriages to let it be known in a humble yet clear way. It is very important that we understand where our outlook on marriage comes from and to discern if it is right and good or not. Great post!

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