In Whew! That’s a stick not a snake! Christine Meinecke says “…humans’ first reactions are negative because the brain’s main function is self-preservation.” Sounds right to me – assuming a stick is a snake until proven to be a stick is certainly going to lead to a longer life than assuming a snake is a stick until it bites you.
However, this self-preservation strategy can easily cause problems if it functions unchecked in our marriages. If you regularly make negative assumptions about your bride’s words and actions, you will hurt her and limit your relationship. Even if her past actions give you cause to assume the worst, doing so is effectively saying you don’t think she can change.
Learn to do the second take, and the second thought, quickly. If it still looks negative, but you can’t be sure, take a chance. Be willing to get hurt on occasion knowing that in doing so you are giving her a vote of confidence. I’m not saying to be stupid and put yourself in a place of great risk, but be ready take a hit to show her that you think she can and will do better.
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