“I’m glad you choose to see me the way you do. Very glad indeed.”
My bride and I were watching the TV show “Fringe” the other day, and Walter Bishop said the above to his son. We immediately stopped the DVD, grabbed paper, and replayed it till we got it written down correctly. Aside from the fact that we are always looking for “tip fodder” (as a friend called it), the statement stuck both of us deeply.
You may have figured out that I am all about choice. “I_choose” is the second most used post tag on this blog, and “her_choice” is in the top ten. Over the years, we have discovered that we can choose a great many things, and that choice has a massive power for both good and bad. The quote above is an example of this: we do in fact choose how we see others. We can see them working to be better, or we can focus on what we don’t like. We can choose to define them by their weaknesses, or we can choose to define them by their strengths. We can see their idiosyncratic as an attempt to hurt us, or as an odd part of their wonderful whole.
Am I suggesting you lie to yourself about who your bride is? No, not at all. However, you have choices about how you deal with who she, choices about how you relate to her more difficult parts, and you can choose to focus on the “good” or on the “bad”. The bottom line is that how you see her now is a choice, or more accurately the result of a long series of choices. How do you choose to see her? Is it a good choice? Is it a choice that pleases the Lord?
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