Her sleep is important to your marriage

June 17, 2011

in Acts of Service, Her Needs, Understanding Her

Sleepless woman © Monkey Business Images | Dreamstime.com

I saw this  after my last rant about sleep, or I would have included it there. That being said, the point is probably important enough that it should be made separately.

A new study by Wendy M. Troxel, PhD shows the marital importance of a woman getting a good night’s sleep. Of the study findings, Troxel said “Specifically, wives who took longer to fall asleep the night before reported poorer marital functioning the next day, and so did their husbands.” While there was a positive correlation for women between a day’s marital interactions and that night’s sleep, that correlation was weaker than the one between sleep and marriage interactions the next day. In other words, how well a woman sleeps affects the couple’s marriage more than the marriage affects how well the woman sleeps.

What about men’s sleep? There was no correlation between how well a man slept and how he or his wife viewed their marital interactions the next day. I would think a significant lack of sleep for the man would hurt his marriage, but clearly, the wife’s sleep is far more critical for a good marriage.

What does this mean to us as husbands? It means we should expect things to go less smoothly when our bride did not sleep well the previous night. I am not justifying her actions, but it is wise and loving to recognise that poor sleep challenges her ability to be the wife she should be. This also means we can expect marriage stress during the first year with a new baby when she is not getting the sleep she needs. In general, be aware of her sleep, and try to avoid difficult discussions and important decisions when she did not sleep well the night before. Being aware of her sleep the night before could also help you hear “yes” to sex more often; ask when she has slept well. If she did not sleep well the night before, focus instead on her getting a good night’s sleep.

Bottom line: If your bride does not always sleep well, you can make your marriage better by finding ways to help her sleep better. Since your being short on sleep does not have a bad affect on your marriage, while her being short on sleep does, it would be wise to sacrifice your sleep for her to sleep far more often than you expect her to get up so you can sleep.

More information Note – I have linked to the ScienceDaily report on this study because I’ve seen several other reports that failed to accurately portray the researcher’s conclusions.

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4 comments
Chris
Chris

Importnat to spell check your articles!

sarah
sarah

I think you just saved my marriage!! As the mom of a 2 yr old and 10 week old who is up every 2 hours, this information is the first thing I've ever read that accurately and scientifically explains why I seem to be going crazy (and I'm so relieved to hear that I'm not really crazy, just tired!) Thank you for blogging this research!! I'm passing it on to my husband

Shana Bresnahan
Shana Bresnahan

Ironically, I'm reading this in bed while my husband is swiftly falling asleep next to me. Your thoughts ring true for our marriage. Wish I could borrow my husband's "brain off" switch, even just for one night.

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