Control and Safety

July 12, 2011

in Her Needs, Series

Heart in a cage © Elena Duvernay |

Stop crying, I’m keeping you safe.

I suspect many people seek control because they think it will make them safe. I suppose the more we control, the safer we are, but given the number of things we can’t control, are we making it better, or just driving everyone crazy?

Another facet of this is the desire to ensure that one’s bride is safe. I fully get that – I feel the fear when my bride is out without me and is overdue returning home. Life without her is something I can’t wrap my head around, and it would be easy to let my fear of losing her cause me to try to control/limit what she does. If she never leaves my sight, she is safer, is she not? Maybe she would be safer; but she would also be unable to enjoy life, to grow, and to do the things God has called her to do. My attempt to “protect” her by controlling her would destroy who she is; and that would be losing her!

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I see that u have been posting a lot about control this week. My husband reads your post everyday, and it has been a blessing. Fortunately, he does not have this control problem..but to a fault! I really wouldn't mind if he tried to be controlling sometimes. I guess I feel that he dosent care AT ALL. About anything that I do. He says its because he trust me. I think its because he dosent want me in "his business", etc. Or maybe he really does just trust me. But sometimes I just wonder is it really that? I guess I would just like him to show a little bit of jealousy..does that makes sense what I'm saying? Someone help me with this please. Thanks!


I cannot understand why I think the same way except that I love my wife and want her safe.


  1. […] all of his posts so far.  Here are the titles to each: Would You Rather Be Unhappy and in Control, Control And Safety, Controlling How Others Affect You Is All Or Nothing, Over Controlling To Make Up For Where You […]

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