The other thing about preferences

August 9, 2011

in Acts of Service, Seeing Clearly

RIP my preferences © Artography | Dreamstime.comI suggested yesterday that you try to let her preferences win out more than half the time. If you both have strong preferences, or you both have many preferences, this is a good plan. However, if one of you does not have a lot of preferences, or not many strong preferences, this may not be the wisest way to go.

My bride has few strong preferences, and my son has almost none, so I know there are people out there who don’t have many strong preferences, and I know it’s not just women. As I have a preference on virtually everything, and most of those preferences have been strong*, I don’t understand not having such preferences.

Because my bride usually does not care – and often does not have or does not share a preference, when she does care I do my very best to do it her way. We usually do it my way since she does not care, so I figure doing it her way when she does care is the most loving thing possible.

I have also learned, sort-of, that it’s okay if she does not have a preference. I used to be so afraid of running her over that I would hound her for a preference. I still find it odd, but I have come to accept that my pressing her for a preference can be more of a problem for her than just doing things she goes along with gladly. If your bride is, “low preference” try to understand this. If you are low preference, maybe this will help your bride accept that it’s who you are and it’s okay.

 

* I have been working for several years to die to my preferences. I doubt I will ever stop having preferences, but I want to see them as far less important, and be very quick to prefer the preferences of others. This is dying to self in a big way! I’m not telling anyone else they should do this; if it speaks to you I am glad – and sorry! ;-)

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