If you are in a mixed marriage?

August 21, 2011

in Acts of Service, Links to good stuff, Understanding Her

Dog and cat © Willeecole | Dreamstime.com

“All we need is love.”

According to the New Testament, the only “mixed marriage” in God’s eyes is one between a man or woman who is following Jesus and a spouse who is not. God is clear this is a bad idea – so much so He tells us not to do it (actually commands us not to, if you want to get picky about it).

So what if you didn’t follow that advice? Or maybe neither of you were saved when you got married, or you were both nominal Christians and now you are serious and she is not, or you were both believers but she has fallen away? What now?

Let me be upfront that I have no personal experience with this, and limited second hand experience. For that reason, I am going to approach this with a story that should show how the believing husband can show his bride the real Jesus in his actions. I say story because this is loosely based on two separate reports we’ve heard.

Imagine if you will that she is the Christian and you are not. Would nagging, preaching, shaming, or any of the other usual tactics cause you to want to have anything to do with her God? Let’s face it, her “salvation” has just made your life worse – she suddenly complains about things you have always done, she has stopped doing things you used to enjoy together, she acts ashamed of you, and she has made a mess of your weekends. Given all that, how could she convince you that her Jesus has anything for you?

What if she became the wild sexual woman every man wants for a wife? I don’t just mean saying yes when you ask, I mean going out of her way to make sex frequent and mind blowing – for both of you. Lingerie, sex toys, new positions, oral sex, and chasing you for sex all become the norm. Then one day, lying together happy but exhausted after another round of great sex, you ask her about the change. She answers that she learned this is what God expects of her … and that she has come to enjoy it greatly! Then she changes the subject.

You see the point? Rather than trying to talk her husband into the Kingdom, the woman above figured out what her husband would really, really like to have. Then she gave him that, beyond his wildest dreams, and blamed it on God. Now that is a sure way to get him thinking he might have been wrong about God!

So what can you do along these lines? What would your wife really, really like from you? Obviously, it needs to be something that does not involved sin, but that’s not likely to be an issue. Many women don’t have one things that will impress them the way over the top sex would impress a man, but find a few and you can get the same affect. Do you love her enough to try it? Do you care about her eternal life enough?

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