This is a follow-up to the Stop It! post I did yesterday.
I often see people keep doing what had taken their marriage to the brink of destruction while saying they want the marriage to work. The mismatch between words and actions makes them seems to be either lying or inane! Of course, the reality is usually something else – they do want the marriage to work, but there is something else even more important to them.
If your marriage is in trouble, the one thing, or few things, you have refused to change, deal with, or confess are probably what is killing your marriage. Stop telling yourself it’s not a big deal, or it does not matter, of she just needs to accept it. Unless it’s really more important to you than your marriage, you need to change. If you don’t change, you are saying you are more than willing to lose your marriage to keep whatever it is. When you do lose your marriage, don’t whine or blame her – you made a choice.
And yes, this works both ways – women also have things that they won’t put on the table. If your bride is doing that, call her on it, in a very clear way. Tell her that whatever it is will be the death of your love if it’s not dealt with.