Some guys seem to expect one good day, or one kind act, to wipe out days, weeks, months, or even years of unloving behaviour, unfair treatment, rudeness, being uncaring, and so on. Let me share a secret with you – your bride does not have a reset button. You can’t change and expect her to forget what has gone before. Neither should you expect her to just believe your change is permanent, and you certainly should not expect her to act as if the change is permanent.
In reality, our actions have consequences, and the longer we persist in a wrong action, the longer it will take to take to convince others we have changed. Even when they start to think the change is going to stick, it will take time for them to heal from the injury already done.
How long does healing take? How long should it take? If the wrong behaviour lasted for weeks or months, it can take at least twice as long doing the right thing. If the wrong lasted for years it should not take twice as long, but it’s going to take a few months at the very least.
Unfortunately, we tend to be very impatient once we feel we have “really changed”; we want our bride to agree with us that we have changed, and to act as if what we did before is a dim memory. Our brains don’t work that way, and expecting her to act that way will only cause more problems. Please, don’t get mad at her for not “getting with the program” regarding a recent change in something you did wrong for a very long time. Accept that you made a mess and that there is no fast easy fix.