Are modern appliances killing marriages?

October 7, 2011

in Communication, Quality Time, Seeing Clearly, Sexuality

Time saving appliances © Jo Ann Snover | Dreamstime.com

I saw a tweet today that made me realise modern conveniences and time savers are contributing to marriage problems.

Husbands could do wonders for their communication with their wives if they would just help with the dishes and talk to them. @mountainman1001

In days gone by, couples had more opportunities to talk as they:

  • Did the dishes together.
  • Worked the broom and dustpan – or at least could talk if one was sweeping and the other was in the room (try that with a vacuum!)
  • Drove into town together (once a week, maybe, and it was a family event). Today the radio or CD player likely prevent conversation.
  • Sat on the couch or front porch. (Did you know television stations use to go off-air over night?)

I’m not opposed to dishwashers, or TV, or any of the other things we use to save time or entertain ourselves, but each of these items can interfere with our having time with our spouse. Moreover, it’s not just conversation and quality time that is being effected – time for physical affection (sexual and otherwise) is limited as well. It use to be rare for a couple to go to bed at different times. One might stay up reading, but they did it there in bed or in a chair near the bed. The couple was together in the bedroom, and that left them open for talking, snuggling, and having sex. Today 24 hour TV and the ever on Internet means a lot of couples go to bed, and get up, at different times.

What is eating up time you and your bride could (should) be spending together? Discuss this together. Decide what is important to you, individually and as a couple, then make adjustments to ensure those things are a regular part of your life together.

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3 comments
The Generous Husband
The Generous Husband

@Lesli Doares- Amen to that. I hate seeing a couple at a restaurant spend more time on their phones than with each other. My bride and I tend to play the same games on our phones - it can thus be a point of contact instead of another distraction.

Lesli Doares
Lesli Doares

Couldn't agree more. Another culprit is SmartPhones and iPads. Constant interaction with the web is taking time away from building our relationship with with our spouse. Successful relationships take time and attention. Nothing thrives on neglect.

Matthew
Matthew

My wife and I frequently give each other a ride to school/work. Between our schedules it would be easy to see each other only just a few minutes before bed. To combat this we have made the decision to inconvenience ourselves and arrive early or have to stay late, just so that we can spend the time together in the car each day. The radio is turned way down or is muted so that we can chat, or at least hold hands if we're not quite awake enough for a good conversation.

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