Prime her for sensual sex

October 8, 2011

in Sexuality

Tasting a cherry © Nfx702 | Dreamstime.comSex is, or at least should be, a sensual experience, and this is particularly important for women. Female orgasms range from so small she is not sure she had one to so massive she can’t think or move. If all she has is small ones, she may not feel it’s worth the effort; if she has some really big ones, she will be interested in doing all she can to have more of the same. The more your bride can open up to the rich range of sensations and stimulation of sex, the more easily she will be aroused, the more quickly she will reach climax, and the more powerful that climax will be. In short, being a sensuous person makes a woman a much better and much more eager lover.

Sensuality is not something that can be compartmentalised very well. That means you can’t make her sensual just sexually, and it means helping her be more sensual in any area is going to make her more sensual in bed. Things that relate to sex, or to her sexual environment (the bedroom) are likely to be somewhat more effective sexually, but don’t limit yourself to working on those.

A few thoughts about things you can do for her or give her to encourage sensuality (please add yours in the comment):

  • Scented candles
  • Scratch her back
  • Special bed sheets – high thread count, or T-shirt fabric
  • Luxurious bath towels
  • A very nice shower head
  • Small bits of rich flavours – fine chocolates, high quality fruit, a special tea
  • Soft, indirect lighting – dimmer switches and coloured bulbs can do interesting things
  • Use a variety of colours to decorate, and use a variety of textures.
  • Frequent soft touches
  • Massage – with a warmed, scented oil
  • Flowers – with a good, strong scent
  • Music, on a quality sound system. Have a variety of music to set or reflect various moods.
  • Background sounds (nature tracks) 
  • Try new restaurants with new kinds of food
  • Buy her a good perfume
  • Pretty lingerie – soft or silky, rich colours, lace
  • Very soft, warm slippers
  • A bathrobe that is soft and warm
  • Brush her hair for her

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4 comments
onewomanman
onewomanman

a word about vocabulary.  I can do romantic with my wife. That's cool, she like that stuff as most women do.  but sensuality?  Isn't that un-biblical.?  I think our marriage bed would be a whole lot more enjoyable if I could get more sensuality in it, and I would love it, but she continually resists saying that it's against Scripture and "sensuality" is sin.  Just like its sinful for me to lust after my wife.  Lust and sensuality are sins to be avoided. Love and romance are to be desired.

TheGenerousHusband
TheGenerousHusband moderator

@onewomanman Sadly some are convinced this is the case. The SofS is the clear argument against this, but then one is accused of making it sensual when it is not.

We take what God called good, and we call it bad. Then we teach others the same thing. Those who disagree are clearly given over to a sinful, lustful heart.

In is much like arguing with someone who believes conspiracy theories - they are self enforcing, and the best arguments against them prove how right they are.

You both have my prayers. She may not admit it, but she is hurting just as much as you are - probably more.

onewomanman
onewomanman

@TheGenerousHusband I completely agree with you here. Except I'm not so sure she's hurting.  She is quite adamant about her position and uses Scripture to make her point. I've given up arguing about it.  I sure appreciate your prayers,  it's the only thing I have left,  hope and pray.  Can't do any more.

TheGenerousHusband
TheGenerousHusband moderator

@onewomanman @TheGenerousHusband Often those who seem the most sure are actually hiding their own suffering. And, those who twist scripture are not in a good place with God. They are trying to make the Word say what they want it to say. The need to make it say something other than what it says comes from fear or pain.

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