Beforeplay – good, bad, and just stupid

October 15, 2011

in Aff Link, Sexuality

Evening kiss © Bucur Ionut | Dreamstime.com Ever heard that foreplay starts in the kitchen, or that foreplay is everything you do from the moment you get up till you have (or try to have) sex? I call that stuff “beforeplay”. Foreplay is what you do to get her body going sexually after it’s agreed that you are going to have sex. Beforeplay is what generally determines if you actually have sex.

Most guys can switch into sex mode in well under a second. No matter where the mind was before, say the word, and he drops into sex gear and takes off. Most women can’t do this. Not won’t, can’t; their brains are not build that way. What happens during the day either lines a woman up for sex, leaves it as a possibility, or puts her where neither wanting nor enjoying sexual is an option. Again, this is not something she chooses, it’s how her brain and body work.

If you start doing the right things an hour before bed, you have a low chance of sex, and an even lower chance of sex that she will enjoy. If you only do the right things on days you plan to ask for sex, she will catch on, and trust me, she won’t be impressed.

If you want your bride open to sex pretty much whenever you are interested, you will need to start doing loving, caring, and romantic things 24/7. Yes, the romantic part is important, but it’s only part of the whole. She needs to feel you care about her, all of her, not just her sexy bits. She needs to hear compliments, and she needs to be encouraged. She needs time with you, and she needs non-sexual touch. She needs to feel safe, protected, supported and understood.

Yes, it’s a great deal to do. But it’s how she was made, and only a constant stream of beforeplay will get her mind to the “yeah, I could enjoy sex” place. Once her mind is there, getting her body going is easy. On the other hand, if her mind is not there, getting her body going is difficult to impossible – even if she gives you the chance.

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1 comments
Darren Miller
Darren Miller

Hey I agree. A woman does need to feel sexy, appreciated, loved and wanted by her man. Women are more emotional and need to feel that positive connection before she becomes intimate. However, I don't believe this is just true for women. From experience, if a woman shows me affection and makes me feel good about myself before sex, the love making is so much greater, more passionate and enjoyable.

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