So you wake up, turn on your computer, and it won’t make coffee. Naturally, you open it up and try to fix it, right? The truth is you are never going to get coffee out of it, and you will almost certainly destroy the system in your attempts.
I offer this word picture because I see men and women do it to their spouses all the time. They want to fix something that isn’t broken; they want to make their spouse into something s/he was never designed to be. One big way we men do this is trying to get our wife to think, feel, reason and communicate the way we do those things. We want her to use the same words, with the same meanings, that we use. We want her to care about the same things, to the same degree, and not care about the things we don’t care about.
Your chances of changing her are the same as your chances of getting a latte out of your computer, and the odds that you will hurt her in the process are high. Your attempt to change her communicates to her that there is something wrong with her, that she is broken. In reality there is nothing wrong with her – she is simply different.
BTW – before someone links to it, this “PC that makes coffee” is fun, but it’s not a computer. Add a real compute to the case and it would be destroyed by heat, steam, and vibration. It’s a lot like what happens to wives when their husband won’t give up and “fixing” them.