Did you know that Thursday, November 3rd, is Sex Toy Day? Of coursed, it’s an advertising ploy – but I choose to use it as a chance to talk about something most Christians don’t discuss.
I am aware there are those who are convinced sex toys are inherently sinful. I have no desire to change the minds of such folks, so if that is you, please join me again tomorrow!
For the rest of you, I will say that aside from those toys that are replicas of some porn stars not so private parts, I don’t see how toys could, in and of themselves, be sinful. I see sex toys as tools. Like all tools they can be used for good or bad. If a toy increases the pleasure, comfort, or ease of sex I think that’s a good thing. If a toy takes the focus off of your partner, that’s a bad thing. If it draws you closer to your spouse, that’s good; if it makes you so uptight or self-conscious you can’t enjoy sex, that’s a bad thing.
If you have wanted to bring the subject of sex toys up with your bride, sex toy day might be just the hook you need. Go slow, and watch her reaction. Be sure she knows your interest is based on a desire to make sex better for both of you, not because she is not woman enough to please you! Understand that pushing too much too soon will result in resistance, while giving her time to think and talk about it is far more likely to result in a willingness to consider trying something. (Please note the images below are affiliate links. The items themselves are free of scantily clad models, but the “Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought” section down the page may have items that use models.)
If she is willing, get one item. Even if she seems willing to try several, start small. Better to have her suggesting another than being overwhelmed by a number of items. My suggestion for a first toy would be a small bullet or egg vibrator. This is a vibrator attached to a box that contains batteries and controls. Most have a dial that allows the speed to be varied. This style of vibe can be used by either of you on the genitals of the other for either foreplay or to climax.
You can also put this type of vibrator between your bodies in any face to face position – nestle it between her outer lips over the clitoris (let her adjust it to find the best place). Start with a low vibration, and increase gradually. This will please her a great deal, and you will also get some good sensations from it. This trick allows many women who have never climaxed during intercourse to do so.
You can spend a lot of money on vibrators (well over $100 USD) or get very inexpensive models. I’d suggest you start with low-cost items until you are both sure you want to use toys, and you decide what you like best.
I would suggest not getting a dildo as a first sex toy. Men are far more into these than women, especially at first.Besides, a dildo is more single task, while a small vibrator can be used in many ways.
If/when you decide to get a dildo, I’d suggest something small and slender to start. Pink or light blue are good colour choices, dark colours are not. The less lifelike the better. While some women enjoy penetration with a dildo, it is very unlikely she will climax from this alone. Used along with clitoral stimulation they can be very nice.
Dildos can be firm or flexible. Small firm one’s are okay, but larger one’s need to have some flex to be comfortable. Flexible will cost more, and it will be more difficult to find one that does not look a lot like a real penis. A non-skin coloured item may be less of a problem for her.