Losing your marriage over lost keys?

November 3, 2011

in Aff Link, Marriage Killer, Understanding Her

Lost keys © Jovani Carlo Gorospe | Dreamstime.comEver misplace something and then asked your bride if she has seen it, knows where it is, or even “where did you put my _____?” Or, maybe she does it to you – or you both do it to each other. Odds are these exchanges are not as loving and kind as they could be. I suspect misplaced wallets, keys, and glasses are major flash points for many couples; the frustration of not being able to find something plus the pressure of needing to get out the door are the perfect storm for hot tempers and belittling behaviour. The one who has lost something may feel they are not getting the help (or sympathy) they deserve, while other person is upset that they are being put out for the forgetfulness or carelessness of their spouse. While I doubt lost keys have ever ended a marriage, any stress is harmful, and if your marriage is suffering, something like this can be particularly harmful – especially if it happens often.

While it certainly is good to deal with the underlying problems that make a lost key situation a problem for your marriage, this is one of those places where I think the best solution is to avoid the issue altogether; reduce the incidence of lost things, and you reduce the stress caused by lost things. The solution is to find a drop place for things that get lost, and agree to put such items there if you find them somewhere else.

However, that drop place has to work; it has to make sense to the one who loses things. That means a bit of grace from the other spouse. If a hook for your keys by the door works for you, and nothing else does, then she needs to find a way to live with that even if she finds it “ugly”. If you need a hook, let her choose the hook. Likewise is she needs something specific – learn to live with it.

Other options are a small box or bowl, or a piece of furniture with a drawer for more out-of-sight dropping. These probably need to be near the door most used when the person losing things enters the house. You could also get a basket or brass container that mounts on the wall right inside the door.

If you want to go high tech, or if you know a single drop point won’t work, you could try something like the Click ‘n Dig! Key Finder – a pair of small receivers that make noise when you press a button on the transmitter.

Whatever you do, find a way to make this one go away – it’s not worth the hassle it causes your marriage.

Links may be monetised
Image Credit: © Jovani Carlo Gorospe | Dreamstime.com

Shop to give links page

2 comments
nick
nick

Me and my gorgeous bride did just this. A hook at the door for my keys and a hook for her purse. We have been married a short time. Have found though that while fighting feels like it helps. All your doing is digging a deeper hole. These tips really will save you from saying something you can never take back

UK Fred
UK Fred

Oi, you, Paul, isn't it? Why are you having a dig at me? Have you been talking to my wife? Seriously though, I see myself in this so very much that I need to take this advice to heart, and to the hardware store.

Previous post:

Next post: