I still feel like putting my hands in my pockets in knick-knack shops!

November 15, 2011

in Be a grownup, Seeing Clearly

Hands in pockets © Viorel Sima | Dreamstime.com

I still have an urge to put my hands in my pockets when I enter a knick-knack shop or antique store. The reason? When we were kids, my mother always told us to do this so we would not pick things up and break them.

So why at the age of 50 do I still have to fight the urge to put my hands in my pockets when I go into such a shop? When I realised what I was doing, and why, I started to fight it. Why did I feel uncomfortable when my hands were not in my pockets? The answer to both of those is that our childhood has a deep and lasting impact on us, for good and for bad.

My example is one that is somewhat obvious; most holdovers from childhood are far less easy to spot. Yet, those things are still there, and they are still affecting how you act and how you treat others.

When you over react, especially with your bride, think about why you did what you did. If the current situation does not explain your reaction, what in your past is driving that reaction? It’s not easy to change patterns like this, but being aware of them is a good start. Don’t be controlled by your past!

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Image Credit: © Viorel Sima | Dreamstime.com

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3 comments
Matthew
Matthew

I still keep my hands in pockets at art galleries. But then, I still struggle not to touch the things that I see when I'm there (guess that comes from working on my own projects and seeing how everything goes together). :D Not sure that I've given it much thought in the past but now I will definitely be paying attention to my reactions with my wife (and other family members) and see if I can determine why I react the way that I do.

Sharon Tatum
Sharon Tatum

In being raised strict, I tried not to be a strong parenting person as I was raised. However, it was taken largely that I was strict. My Child rearing was lots more lenient than my parents. Parenting should be done together by both parents. I for one had to be firm at times as there were many times I was with the kids for more periods of their childhood. 2 parents as a constant in their lives has alot to do w/rearing a child. Working out of town by father was a factor, and me being a responsible person that I was raised to be, I would loved to have be less responsible, and given the children a better home. Love for UR children decides UR reactions and sometimes former generations tried to pass on their standards, which can be good as well as bad. U always want the best for the child if even the child is not aware of it at the time. Even giving 110 percent, U think, just does not get the job done. Share the responsibilities, relax and steal all the special time that memories are made. st

Sharon Tatum
Sharon Tatum

If they are funny little responses like this, smile, and blow a kiss to mom. If they affect U adversely, take time will it to figure out what needs to be done. Mom's rearing could just be her response as well. Be always walking toward UR Family w/Love, they are the best thing U have in life. They care for U more than anyone!

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