Are your standards too high for her?

November 17, 2011

in Communication, Her Needs, Seeing Clearly

Woman's feet at line © Margaretwallace | Dreamstime.com

“Toe the line!”

Yesterday I talked about wives who have unrealistic standards. Today the other side – the man who puts unreasonable standards on his bride. If what you expect is beyond her ability or beyond what is reasonable for her to do, you will likely find that she stops doing those things. Doing your best, or giving it as much as you feel you can, and then being told it’s not good enough, is deeply demoralising, not motivating.

If you feel your bride is failing to do what should be done in one or more areas, you many need to re-evaluate your standards. Try putting yourself in her place – with her abilities and limitations (which may include being a mother) in mind.

  • If you realise you have been expecting too much, admit that to her.
  • If you think what you want is reasonable, ask her what she thinks is reasonable.
  • If she wants what you want, then give her time to get there, and praise her attempts even when they fall short.
  • If she wants less than what you want, you have to decide if it’s so important that you are willing to cause a problem between the two of you to try to get her to meet your standard.

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Image Credit: © Margaretwallace | Dreamstime.com

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1 comments
Jim
Jim

OUCH!!!! I think this post was meant for me...I guess sometimes I put to much pressure on my wife to keep the house looking good and in order and to not have stuff sitting around...I like everything neat and in order...she does have alot on her plate with taking care of our 3 kids and homeschooling them....that does keep her very busy....I just need to try and understand her and try to help where i can and try not to have a to high expectation of her.....

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