Yesterday I talked about wives who have unrealistic standards. Today the other side – the man who puts unreasonable standards on his bride. If what you expect is beyond her ability or beyond what is reasonable for her to do, you will likely find that she stops doing those things. Doing your best, or giving it as much as you feel you can, and then being told it’s not good enough, is deeply demoralising, not motivating.
If you feel your bride is failing to do what should be done in one or more areas, you many need to re-evaluate your standards. Try putting yourself in her place – with her abilities and limitations (which may include being a mother) in mind.
- If you realise you have been expecting too much, admit that to her.
- If you think what you want is reasonable, ask her what she thinks is reasonable.
- If she wants what you want, then give her time to get there, and praise her attempts even when they fall short.
- If she wants less than what you want, you have to decide if it’s so important that you are willing to cause a problem between the two of you to try to get her to meet your standard.