She wants more of you for the kids

January 3, 2012

in Be a grownup, Marriage Killer, Seeing Clearly, Series

Father and daughter © Rick Sargeant | Dreamstime.com

A very common complaint among wives is that their husband does not spend enough time with the kids. Also common are complaints about him being too hard on the kids, not knowing them well enough, just playing and leaving the discipline to her, and contradicting what she has told them to do. Frustrations over parenting are a common source of marital problems, and it’s an issue you would do well to address.

I suggest you spend time talking about this with your bride sometime soon. Work to get on the same page; it may take some real effort, but your marriage and your children will benefit. Be ready to bend a bit – being of one mind and acting in unison is very important here. It’s great if you see all parenting issues the same way, but if you don’t, please don’t ignore the differences. Find common ground you can both live with.

Beyond the marriage aspects of the issue, let me encourage you not to slack off on parenting. I’m sure you have heard how your kids will be with you for such a short time, and how you have even less time than that to teach them those important things that only you can teach them. Its cliché, but it’s true. You don’t get the early years back, and you don’t get a second chance to influence them when they are young. You don’t get to take a second run at their teenage years either. You get one shot, for better or worse. While it’s true that things beyond your control will shape your children, you can have a significant impact on who they become, what they think, and how live they live. It’s both an awesome opportunity and a terrifying responsibility. Every parent makes mistakes, but those who try hard do far better than those who don’t. Man up and be the father they need.

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1 comments
John Delcamp
John Delcamp

The things my wife and I "fought" most about was not money, it was discipline. She felt I was too hard and I felt she was way too easy. However, I was completely involved with my two boys - whatever they were into - (sports of all kinds) I was there to either coach or help with the team. I did that the whole way through high school. The result was even though we disagreed privately about discipline - we both made sure that no matter how busy we were or what other demands were on out lives - the boys knew we were there for them and were cared about what they did and who they did it with because we were involved in the things they were involved in. I can tell you my investment into both of them has paid off big time. You can not describe the relationship we have even today when they are married and are involved in their children's lives.

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