Generosity inspires generosity

January 9, 2012

in Be a grownup, Good Marriage, YOU4HER

Give or Take? © Stuart Miles | freedigitalphotos.net

Choose one.

This is a follow up to yesterday’s Withholding does not inspire generosity post.

If you give your bride more of what she lacks from you, there is a very, very good chance she will respond by giving you more of what you want. I know many of you would like more sex, so I will use that as an example:

Imagine that your bride is suddenly all about taking care of you sexually. If you ask, she says yes; if you don’t ask, she offers. One night as she crawls into bed, exhausted, she asks if you’re horny. You start to say “I am a bit, but I know you had a long day and I’ll understand …” You’re interrupted by her hands between your legs – and she keeps going until you are satisfied. Thirty seconds later, she’s asleep.

Tell me, how would you feel about your bride if she were suddenly like that? Would you want to do things to bless her? You might not know what exactly to do, and might not get it right without some feedback from her, but wouldn’t you be very motivated to give her more of just about anything she wanted? If you’re not exceedingly selfish or deeply wounded, her outrageous generosity would inspire you to be more generous with her.

In the same way, if your bride is not exceedingly selfish or deeply wounded, being outrageously generous with her will inspire her to do the same with you. She might not know what to do, and she might need your feedback to get it right, but she will be motivated to give to you because you are giving to her.

If giving less hasn’t been working for you, why not try giving more?

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2 comments
The Generous Husband
The Generous Husband

@Phillip - I don't disagree with you, but as John Delcamp said on yesterday's tip, Jesus did encourage us to “Give and it will be given to you, pressed down, shaken together and running over.” I agree doing this for the "right" reason is far better, but doing it for any reason is likely to result in a better marriage for both husband and wife. I've seen good come from a person doing something for less than selfless reasons. Some things work even when our motivation is not what it should be.

Phillip
Phillip

This is very true. But for the Christian I think we have to be careful that we are modeling Christ's generosity, not man's. Christ's generosity and grace choose to serve whether or not we ever see the desired response. From experience I can say that serving my wife freely has made her want to serve me freely. We need to make sure our hearts are right, not for self-service, which is idolatry, but for serving God by loving our brides.

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