Generosity: how much, and how long?

January 10, 2012

in Links to good stuff, Understanding Her, YOU4HER

Long road to great love © Cemil Adakale | Dreamstime.com

Yesterday, in my Generosity inspires generosity post, I promised you that being generous to your bride would result in her doing the same with you. How generous do you have to be, and how long do you have to keep at it to get some of the same?

There are a number of factors here:

  • Are you being generous to her in an area of great need, or of lesser need?
  • How long have you not been generous, or been less generous than you could/should have been?
  • How tired and/or stressed is she?
  • Have you made false starts before?
  • Are you consistent, or is your new generosity spotty at best?
  • Are you acting like you are better than her because of what you are doing? 
  • Is it clear you expect her to repay you? Have you hinted you will stop if you don’t get what you want?

The more you give, and the closer it is to what she most wants and needs, the sooner you can expect to see a change in your bride. The more wounded she is, the more stressed and tired she is, and the longer she has been suffering, the longer it will take her to respond. If you are giving in true generosity, rather than to get something, she is more likely to reply in kind, and to do it sooner rather than later.

By the way, if all of this sounds familiar, it’s what God did with us. We had nothing to offer to Him, and yet He was generous with us. We can never reply Him, can never give to Him anything as wonderful as what He gives us, and yet He keeps giving. If you decide to give to your bride like this – with the mind that she may never give you as much as you give her, you will feel a lot better and find the task far easier. The great thing about this is you might end up with far more than you expect.

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3 comments
365 Acts of Love
365 Acts of Love

I've made a noticeable, (sort of) long-term change, and it's had a positive affect. I'm encouraged by the results I've seen, and I'll keep pressing on.

Evan
Evan

Very good, Paul. And thank you. The problem is that I am human, I only have so much to go on. Seems like I come up way short even with the Lord's help. But you are right; I think he wants us to be just likes he asks us to be with forgiveness, " 7 times 7". And, of course that doesn't neccessarily mean 49 times; it means keep it up. What he really wants from us is to "keep on keepin' on".

The Generous Husband
The Generous Husband

@Even - Yeah, I've had plenty of times I've fallen short. Fortunately perfection is not required! If you make a noticeable, long-term change, it will have an affect.

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