My bride is almost done with a series on submission over on The Generous Wife (links below). There is a lot of good content in this series, and you may want to know how to get your bride there without sending here there yourself. Sorry, I can’t help you with that. I’d like to focus on what she posted today:
To guys who are reading this, please be a servant leader. Model it, teach it, encourage other men to lay down their lives for their wives. Be willing to have a “come to Jesus” talk with guys who are abusing their wives. Don’t let this travesty continue.
This is how marriages are saved and made better. We are very much influenced by those around us. Studies have found things like smoking and being overweight are influenced by those around us; how much more would marriage be changed, for better or worse, by those we hang with? Get out there and live your marriage as God intended, so others can see and do likewise.
The other side of this is the accountability factor. In days long gone by people were all in each-others business, and abuse (of any form) was rarely hidden from those closest to you. Sometimes it was ignored, often it was not, but it was usually not as much of a secret as today. In particular, families tended to hold members accountable; if a man was not caring for his bride as he should it is likely her male relatives would take him aside and educate him – possibly with a bit of violence.
Now I’m not advocating a blanket party, but being willing to confront wrong behaviour is not only right and good, it’s something the Bible tells us to do with those who are part of the body of Christ. When a couple involved in a church divorces, I think the church needs to examine itself. If many marriages are failing in a church, something is wrong.
Before anyone tells me to stop picking on the men, please know the quote above from Lori ends with “And for the record, gals, there are husbands who are being abused by their wives. We need to step up as well.” This is not on us as men; it’s on us a followers of Jesus.
Links to blog posts that stood out to me this last week:
Black and Married with Kids
The Marriage Diet: This would certainly contribute to a healthier marriage!
Couple Things Blog
Four Things We Now Know: What a year of marriage blogging has taught this couple.
Happily Married After
The Only Marital Counseling Advice You’ll Need: Puts a very fine point on it!
Hot, Holy and Humorous
How Important Is Technique?: Less important than …
”husband”, a user’s guide”
Why Men Stray: A report on a study that conflicts with many of the stereotypes.
Intimacy in Marriage
Hormones and Sex: What You Need to Know: Your bride may need to see this, and it would make a good starting place for a conversation that you may need to have.
Journey to Surrender
Journey to Surrender: Navigating the Marriage Road – Part 3 : An excellent post on accountability.
Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage
Control Is Not a Four-Letter Word: This is a MUST READ! Don’t be cowed into being silent when your wife is wrong!
Which Kind of Commitment Do You Have in Your Marriage?: I tweeted about this study, but have not mentioned it here. Lori covers it well.
Where Are You Investing Your Treasures?: Saying your wife is a priority does not make it so!
Romantic Act of the Day
How Would You Describe Her?: Do this for you, read it to her if you like.
Adding Fruit to Your Sex Life: It’s not what you think!
Stupendous Marriage Show 033: Trust, Comparing and You Complete Me: Another well done podcast.
…to Love Honor and Vacuum
Sheila continues her 29 days of great sex with:
Day 12: If you’re Having a Hard Time with these Challenges
Day 13: Getting Your Head in the Game
Day 14: What if You’re Not “In the Mood”?
Day 15: What is Foreplay?
Day 16: How to Orgasm
Day 17: The Pleasure Center
Day 18: Foreplay Can Be for Him too!!