Based on the comments and e-mails I received on yesterday’s The grey area between reasonable and unreasonable post, I am not the only one who experiences this. Nor am I the only one who sees it as a sign of selfishness. So let’s take it a step further.
Are all actions either loving or selfish? Is there a grey area between those two things – actions which are neither loving nor selfish? I confess a part of me says yes – a part of me very much wants there to be actions that are not loving but also not selfish. I want the wiggle room to do less than I know I should, to get by with a bit of selfishness while not admitting to myself I am, in fact, being selfish.
For example, I see something needs doing around the house. I have the time to do it, and I know it would bless my bride if I did it. If I do it, I feel good about myself for doing something loving. However, if I don’t do it, I don’t feel bad about being selfish. I want it to be okay to not do it. I want doing it to be above and beyond the call, and not doing it to be acceptable. Sometimes that may be the case, but sometimes – I suspect far more often than I want to admit – the reality is the opposite.
I’m working at being more loving. Sometimes it’s great, and sometimes it’s inconvenient. I think the inconvenient times are when I get a chance to become more Christ like.