3 things for 21 days

March 16, 2012

in Change, Links to good stuff

3 © Paul H. Byerly

For the next twenty-one days, write down three good things about your bride or your marriage. Do it every day, and do not repeat anything. Do it on paper, or a document on your computer or phone, but do it every day and put them all in the same place.

The result? You will feel better about your bride, and your marriage, and you will learn to see more of the positive in both.

Doubt me? Try it, really try it, and if it doesn’t work, THEN you can tell me it’s garbage.

Fair credit: I’ve stole this idea from Shawn Achor (hilarious TED talk here).

Follow up: Lust: The Pigpen or The Feast? is a reply to my Lust: I WANT you article. Thanks to J of Hot, Holy and Humorous for this.

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4 comments
The Pro Marriage Counselor
The Pro Marriage Counselor

I love this 3 "Things for 21 Days" approach. It can lead to what I call "expressed gratitude" and positive behavioral and emotional change, in just about any marriage. Another great post to share with my twitter followers. Thank you!

The Generous Husband
The Generous Husband

Evan - In part it will mean being specific. Men tend to be big picture, rather than details. Nothing wrong with that, but some focus on the details is good from time to time. This was originally offered as a business tool, and it has been shown to have significant positive impact when it's taken seriously. Usually people struggle at first, but as they start to look for good, they see more and more. Many find they have a hard time limiting themselves to three towards the end of the process.

Evan
Evan

That is 63 things! Are you kidding? 63? Whenever I see a list of more than about 10 of anything, it seems to become more a way of finding a different way to say the same thing.

Evan
Evan

I understand that, and I know it is good thing, and can be quite powerful. I try to live that way, in my management position as well as at home or anywhere else. I am better at it than I was years ago, but still need plenty of improvement. But I still really doubt that I could come up with 63 specific things. Like I said, any list I have ever seen has a lot of duplication, just in different words. My Mother once had us list 5 good things about ourselves! I couldn't think of 1 at the time, but as time goes on, I have seen the wisdom in what she did.

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