Over at Strengthen Your Relationship, Dr. Nicastro has a great article entitled Men and Intimacy: Why Men Struggle as Husbands and Lovers. Go give it a read while I kiss my bride (take your time!).
I agree with Nicastro that men’s win or lose mind-set can be a problem in marriage. My suggestion is to use men’s competitive nature by redirecting it to make men awesome husbands driven to be even better. I look at it as beating my high score; going after a new personal best. I’m not competing against my bride, or other couples, I am competing against myself. Every victory is celebrated, but it also means it’s time to set a new goal. Where can I be more loving, more giving, more understanding, more incredible? If I’ve got all the bases covered, where can I move from good to great? Where have I slipped from fantastic to great?
Regardless of how good or bad your marriage is at this moment, you can do something to make it a bit better. That’s the goal, beat your current score. Work for a new high score, then work to beat that score and keep going. Don’t judge yourself compared to others – it will depress you if things are bad and tempt you to slack of if things are good. Look at you, and only at you, and keep pushing to be better.