I started this a while ago after getting a couple of the same questions several times. I’ve had a few crazy days so I decided to finish it and have a bit of fun with it. Enjoy!
- Q: Are you ordained?
- A: Yes – ordained by the American Evangelical Association in 2002. The AEA does ordination by examination, meaning they examine your life and ministry and if they feel you are doing the work of a pastor, they ordain you. When they looked at us, we had almost five years of data on The Marriage Bed website, so nothing was hidden.
- Q: Any other credentials?
- A: I was a licensed irrigator in the state of Texas! :mrgreen: I’ve done a lot of study on my own, and some through various organisations. So far it’s not added up to a degree – maybe someday.
- Q: Are you British?
- A: No, just eccentric. The British way of spelling makes more sense to me, and it keeps people guessing, so it’s all good. Or, maybe it’s all the minced meat, Nutella, and Dr. Who! (And yes, I like Marmite.)
- Q: And just why is it you can’t spell?
- A: I have a logical mind, and English spelling is anything but logical. That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it because it sounds better than “spelling does not work in my mind”.
- Q: Why do you say “bride” instead of “wife”?
- A: Because I tend to misspell wife. Because most of us think something different when we hear the word bride than when we hear wife. I think it’s a better thought for most. If nothing else, it shakes people up, and that makes it more likely they will think something new.
- Q: Is oral sex okay?
- A: If you do it right it’s a lot better than okay! [Insert rim shot here] The Bible says nothing that even hints it would be wrong in marriage, and I figure God didn’t just “miss one”. Beyond that, it’s very likely the Song of Songs mentions oral sex done on both the man and the woman. If you want to read more about this, check out What’s Okay, What’s Not.
- Q: What about masturbation?
- A: No thanks, I’m happily married.
- Q: How did you end up doing something like this?
- A: When we got married, everything other than sex was good. Sex was a problem, and it got worse fast. This was back in the 80’s, when Christians didn’t talk about sex. We couldn’t find help, and started to study both the Bible and biology for answers. Somewhere along the line, we promised God if He helped us we’d help others. He did help us, and He does collect on those promises. From this, The Marriage Bed was born in 1997. For the rest of the story, see How I came be “The Generous Husband” and write these tips.
- Q: Your parents would be so proud!
A: Well half of them would be. My father was gone before we started, and my mom’s approach was “I won’t ask, PLEASE DON”T TELL!”.
- Q: Is your bride really as great as you say?
- A: No, she’s better. I can’t begin to express how perfect she is for me. In large part, this is because she has spent a great deal of time studying me, and finding ways to bless me. She is awesome!
- Q: Do you ever get tired of talking about sex? (I was asked this recently by an interviewer, great question!)
- A: No. There are certain topics I weary of from time to time – more the arguments than the topics. However, I’ve always loved science, especially biology, and human biology in particular, so this is an easy fit for me. I enjoy learning new things about human bodies and minds – I wish I had more time to devote to the study of such things.
- Q: Wait, you didn’t answer about masturbation.
- A: Is that all you think about?
Q: What kind of movies do you like?
A: Sci-Fi and action.
- Q: Star Trek or Star Wars?
A: Yes, no, bite me. Farscape.
- Q: To what denomination do you belong?
A: No one will claim me! None of the above. Raised Presbyterian, then a couple of decades as non-denominational/independent. For a decade plus we were home church, and since 2010 we’ve attended a local body that is one of a number of plants from a larger independent church the next town over.
- Q: If you could recommend only one marriage book, what would it be?
- A: I have not finished writing it. The 5 Love Languages can make huge changes for a couple, and pave the way for other changes.
- Q: Is your sex life as great as you hint it is?
- A: We are both very happy and very satisfied.
- Q: No really, what about masturbation?
- A: Really? Okay. This is the most contentious issue we deal with. Many people have “a feeling” about this, and there’s nothing you can say to change how people feel. The Bible says nothing about it, and if it was wrong I think God would’ve told us so. He felt it was necessary to tell us not to have sex with relatives, the same gender, or animals, so certainly the most common orgasm-causing act in the world would have gotten some mention if it was wrong. We’ve had all kinds of folks explain to us how certain verses say it’s wrong if you understand them rightly (cough Gnosticism cough), but none of these folks has ever been able to explain why it’s hidden when something so clearly wrong as sex with livestock is plainly spelled out. [If you are going to email me to try to change my mind, please try to explain why the Bible is so silent on the issue!]
- Q: How long have you been blogging about marriage and sex?
- A: I started in July of 2001, and have worn out several keyboards.
- Q: You really think you can get 375 micro donors?
- A: If the question is do I think what we are doing is “worthy” of support, then yes, no question.