Answers to a few common questions

April 16, 2012

in None of the Above

I started this a while ago after getting a couple of the same questions several times. I’ve had a few crazy days so I decided to finish it and have a bit of fun with it. Enjoy!

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12 comments
brixken7
brixken7

"All of this still does not explain why God would have been critic if masturbation is in fact sin." --GENEROUS HUSBAND.


The word "critic" is a noun, so I'm puzzled by your sentence structure and what you're trying to say.

Are you saying a husband does not need his bride's permission to have an orgasm?

themarriagebed
themarriagebed moderator

@brixken7

crit·ic

ˈkridik/noun
  1. 1.a person who expresses an unfavorable opinion of something.

Need her permission? No. 

Is it wise to do it without her awarness? NO! 

brixken7
brixken7

You stated, "The Bible says nothing about (masturbation), and if it was wrong, I think God would have told us so." 

True, the term is not in the Scriptures and so far as single men is concerned it's obviously permissible.

However, since a man's body belongs to his bride in sexual matters ( I Corinthians 7:4), aren't we husband's forbidden by God to indulge ourselves in this manner -- at least without our bride's permission?

themarriagebed
themarriagebed moderator

@brixken7  I can't say forbidden, but it's certainly not a good idea. At best it shows a problem somewhere. The problem might be her, him, or the relationship. 

Sunshine1203
Sunshine1203

Masturbation is wrong because it's an abuse of the gift of sexuality and it's totally self-centered. The bible condemns the wasting of seed (yes, the sin of Onanism), and that sin took place in the midst of a sexual act with a woman, so imagine how much worse to be alone and "wasting the seed." It's not just that the conception of a child was deliberately prevented during a sexual act, which is bad enough; abstaining from the sexual act altogether would have been a lot better, but instead, he (they) went all the way and experienced the pleasure of sexual activity anyway. This is the sin of masturbation: closed to life, closed to spousal union, selfish.

Also, masturbation almost always involves at least imaginary objectification of a person, which is a sin against another person's dignity. It's one thing for spouses to mutually enjoy each other's bodies in sex, but quite another thing to "use" them for one's own personal satisfaction outside of sex, even if the spouse says it's okay, because there can be no self-giving with masturbation.

The commenter "A" below believes she is pure because she masturbates instead of jumping into bed with men, but this is not purity, especially since the imagination is almost always involved. True sexual purity is not just abstinence from sex; St. Jerome said that "virginity is lost with a look," and masturbation is a sin of lust--either for oneself or someone else.

The reason masturbation is an abuse of sexuality is that it totally isolates sexual pleasure from the two major purposes of sex: procreation and marital unity. Sex by oneself is not sex at all, nor is it spiritually fulfilling or self-giving in the least. Sex is always meant to be mutual and self-giving, which the Song of Songs very clearly demonstrates for us. They are not touching themselves; they are touching one another.


I was addicted to masturbation as a child and teenager, having been raised in an abusive home. I turned inward on myself to try to find comfort. Thankfully, God converted me from this--and yes, as a Catholic, it was the mind-blowing, beautiful teaching of the Catholic Church on sexuality that made it possible for me to turn away from masturbation. I discovered this teaching on my own, by the grace of God. The teachings of the Church on this matter are not just negative and "prudish" as so many today believe, if one would only pick up and read, or ask. Theology of the Body, by Pope John Paul II, and the teachings and talks by Christopher West have explained to us in incredible depth and beauty the deepest purposes and plans that God always had for sexuality, and I highly encourage the readers here to look into this. You will be absolutely amazed at the richness, beauty and boldness, and I can even say it will take your sexual lives to very different heights.


I have been married 7 years now, and let me say: masturbation as a single person and sex as a married person are as alike as hell and heaven, and I do mean that. With masturbation, there was only an aching emptiness and loneliness afterwards, a strong sense of being far from God, and self-hatred. I knew I was not treating my body as a temple of the Holy Spirit. This was NOT just from guilt, because all of these things began long before I even knew what I was doing.

Masturbation is self-centered, closes the door to the possibility of new life, and leaves a person as empty as before; sex with a spouse as God intended it to be is one of the most fulfilling, heavenly experiences we could ever have in this life, a tremendous gift from God that leaves us flooded with grace, peace, unity and heals many wounds. The sacramental graces of marriage flow in abundance from sex within marriage--but not from masturbation, which is completely centered on self (regardless of whether or not you're fantasizing about your spouse, which is also an offense against his/her dignity because no one is merely an object for our pleasure).


Sorry for this long response, but I eagerly await the day when our Protestant brothers and sisters will understand the importance of this and expand their understanding of what true sexual purity is. God bless you all as you continue seeking.

Sunshine1203
Sunshine1203

And, I would just add that for the very same reasons I just mentioned, oral sex where the man "finishes" inside the woman's mouth is also wrong.

I won't check back here, as I stumbled across this blog by accident, but I hope someone benefits from what I've shared and maybe opens their minds a bit more to these things. God's "no's" are always a "yes" to something better, remember. God bless.

The Generous Husband
The Generous Husband

Love Letters - You say the Bible says that sexual pleasure is only to be enjoyed in marriage, and that it should be given not taken. While I have certainly heard this, I can't find scriptures that actually say those things. The passage about our bodies not being our own is written to married couples, so it does not apply to single. Beyond this the passage contains an ellipsis, a Greek langue construct which says A and B are both important, but A is more important. This is properly translated in several versions, including the NIV which says "The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife." All of this still does not explain why God would have been critic if masturbation is in fact sin. Be clear about homosexuality, bestiality and incest, but leave us to figure out that masturbation is wrong by digging for clues? I can't support that idea biblically!

A
A

As a woman, I know I would have jumped into bed with whomever would have had me, if it had not been for being able to relieve myself from my preteen years till now, it has ironically kept me pure. I do believe that it can become an addiction, or people can do it too much, especially if exposed to pornography, as I was, at a very young age. (arg)

Love Letters
Love Letters

Would love for you to dig deeper around masturbation. The bible does say that sexual pleasure is to be enjoyed only in marriage, and should be given and not taken. It says my body is not my own. It talks at length about sexual immorality, and masturbation is not consistent with what God teaches is good about sex. Further, the bible goes to great lengths to encourage self control, for old men and young. Masturbation is clearly a self control issue.

Kathleen
Kathleen

I REALLY enjoyed reading this, thanks Paul! Way to go with the Star Trek and Farscape! my kinda guy!

J (Hot, Holy & Humorous)
J (Hot, Holy & Humorous)

So glad you answered these questions! It's nice to get a closer look at the man (and his supportive bride) behind the blog. And Star Trek or Star Wars? What kind of question is that? It's like Sophie's Choice! LOL.

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