Words – the power to change how she feels.

May 21, 2012

in Encouragement

Sticks and stones © Squish Photography | Dreamstime.com

Sticks and Stones

I’m sure you’ve had someone say something that made you feel good for the rest of the day – or even for several days. You’ve likely also been told things that made you feel bad for hours or days. Words have a great deal of power to make others feel good or bad. This effect is even stronger when the words come from someone you love.

Don’t be fooled if it looks like your words have no effect on your bride. Unless she is a full on narcissist, or has given up on your marriage, your words do affect her, even if she hides it. Think about ways you can encourage and build her up with you words, and ways you can remove hurtful words from your marriage vocabulary.

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5 comments
Jason
Jason

It is so easy for us to say something without meaning malice and still causing hurt. The other day I said something to our daughter about our plans for the day and without realizing it my tone or something about the way I said it hurt my wife. I have to admit to being stunned when she turned to me and said "well thank you for making me feel like crap." I apologized immediately, but it put our entire day off kilter.

Jason
Jason

That might work. I guess part of it is that I have a hard time thinking in those terms.

Jason
Jason

Encouragement is something that I struggle with. I am not good with being encouraging and uplifting through words. It is a struggle for me to encourage my wife even when I know she needs it. I do my best to not ever put her down and I think I do well on that score, but even so encouragement is hard. It is not hard for her, she is a blessing and light and encouragement to everyone around her.

feelin hurt
feelin hurt

this is SO true.... my husband and i are going through a stressful time at the moment and i'm getting the brunt of it, it seems. i'm getting put-down and criticized multiple times each day and i yearn for a kind word of encouragement and something to build me up instead of pull me down. It seems i can't say or do anything right. I try hard remember to praise him and let him know i'm proud of him on a regular basis. When i brought up the fact that i'm getting a lot of criticism and not much encouragement lately, he told me that 'encouragement is for kids' and that when i praise him it means nothing to him. his words have been really hurtful lately. i don't know how to respond. Finally today after he put me down again, i said, 'you've been really ugly to me lately.' he told me to stop talking and go away. any suggestions on how to respond? i want to honor and respect him as my husband but i want to feel loved, not bossed around and put down all the time. would appreciate ideas on how to respond in a constructive way

The Generous Husband
The Generous Husband

Jason - You could ask her to help you learn how to be more encouraging to others. In the process you will learn how to be more encouraging to her.

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