What does loving you cost?
I think all love costs us something – if it’s real love. Loving your children certainly costs you: lost sleep, hurting when they hurt, and of course financially. Fortunately, most of us feel the cost of loving our children is well worth it.
There is a cost to you for loving your bride, and she pays a cost to love you. There being a cost is not bad or wrong, but what if the cost is high? What if it is not just high occasionally, but all the time? What does she have to give up because she is married to you? Has the list gotten longer over time? Has being married to you cost her dreams she did not expect to sacrifice? If so, is it because of things unforeseen, or because you have been selfish or closed-minded? Do you expect difficult or time-consuming things of her? Are those expectations reasonable, or are you asking too much?
The why of these things is important. If a man was in a horrible accident and become unable to do many things, most wives would step up out of love. If a man is just lazy and will not do the same things, his wife will resent him. A few idiosyncrasies are easy to deal with, but having exacting specifications about virtually everything is brutal. Most women can deal with the first, while few will survive the second.
Take some time to consider the cost of loving you. If the cost seems high, figure out where you could reduce it. If you cannot cut the cost, are there ways you could do more for her so the “value” she receives is greater?
I do not mean to make love sound like a financial decision, but if the cost of love is too great emotional bankruptcy becomes likely, and that can kill a marriage.