Playing “the kids” card

June 28, 2012

in Beyond the Marriage, Marriage Killer, Seeing Clearly

Too tired © FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Some folks seem unable to think clearly when things involve “the children”. Others get guilted into doing things they don’t feel right about because they are chided to “do it for the children” or asked “how can you say no to the children”. This is usually worded to suggest the only reason someone would say no is selfishness. 

This thinking can easily lead to one or both spouses being far too busy, as they drive kids to sports, dance, band, clubs, meetings, and so on. I knew one couple with three children who had several months each year when 8 PM was the earliest both parents were home at night. Occasionally they were both home for dinner, before going out again, but that was rare. This couple’s effort to give the kids everything was destroying their marriage. He eventually said he was tired of it, but she just ignored him. Last I heard, they were in separate bedrooms and married in name more than reality.

Aside from what it does to the parents, and their marriage, busyness is even more harmful to children than it is to adults. A poll of 882 children ages 9 to 13 found 41% report feeling stressed most of or all of the time because they have too much to do. Additionally, 77% wish they had more free time. Our society is teaching our children to be even busier than we are, and it is not good thing for them. If they do not learn to play and relax now, their lives will be full of stress and anxiety!

If your kids are doing too much, you need to put a stop to it for them. If their activities are making you and/or your bride too busy, you need to put a stop to it for the kids and for yourself, your wife, and your marriage. Parent’s having a strong marriage is critical for healthy children – don’t put that at risk for a few extra activities! 

Reference: Is Your Child Too Busy? 

This is one of seven posts about busyness:

The sin of busyness? 
Too busy because too much is too important
Checkpoints
Playing “the kids” card
Employment and priorities 
Too busy for good sex 
When church/ministry makes you too busy

Image source: © FreeDigitalPhotos.net

0 comments

Previous post:

Next post: