Today I came across The ‘Busy’ Trap on the opinion pages of the on-line NY times. Since I just wrote on this, I took the time to see what the fellow had to say. The whole thing is good, but one pull quote really jumped out at me:
~ It’s not as if any of us wants to live like this; it’s something we collectively force one another to do.
That is the real issue – busyness is a disease, a social disease spread by repeated contact with carriers. This means getting free of busyness may be difficult or impossible if you stay immersed in a busy culture, and even if you do get free, you may be reinfected. This is part of a bigger issue I’ve mentioned more than once – we tend to mirror the folks we hang with. You shape your friends, and they shape you, and individuality within groups is not nearly as great as we like to think. This is true of busyness, how spend our money, how much we exercise, and how we treat our spouse.
The hard fact is our friends can anchor us to things we don’t like; things we would like to remove from our lives. What’s more, if you are strong enough to change despite your friends, they may drop you because of the changes. Am I saying you have to choose between your friends and making changes in your life? Sometimes it really does come down to that, or at least to being willing to lose friends if that is what it takes. The question then is what’s more important to you, your friends or being healthy; your friends or doing what is right; your friends or your marriage? Are you ready to declare independence from the crowd and follow what is right?