Do you have a handle on your past, and what it can cause you to do and not do? Most of the time you are in control, you feel the urges to react out of your past, but you are able to choose not to follow those urges. That’s good – in fact it’s great. But can you maintain control under stress?
What we learn early in life becomes deeply rooted in our minds. These “early lessons” tend to surface when we are stressed or tired, and when we feel out of control or threatened. When circumstances push us to our limit, our self-control is lost and we often react out of our oldest fears. We can feel threatened when there is no real threat, and disrespect when there is no disrespect. We may fail to feel the love and concern of others even though they are trying to express those things.
Next week I will talk more about this, and what we can do about it. The first thing to do is own it when we slip into the past and say or do something unwarranted. Do not excuse or blame, just admit you let the stress get to you and did something you wish you had not done. Honestly owning it when you blow it can make your bride feel better. It’s not a solution, and you need to deal with any fall out from what you said or did, but owning your stuff shows you are a grown up and are trying to improve.