NOTE: Stats and graphs updated Oct 19th 2012.
Time for the results of the survey on oral sex. I’ve followed many of the finding with what it means to you or how you might deal with potential problems.
We had 309 women and 759 men answer. How much does this survey reflect the real world? The vast majority who answered are married followers of Jesus. I think it’s also safe to say the vast majority are sex positive Christians – only 4.2% of the ladies and 0.1% of the men thought oral sex was morally wrong. With that in mind…
Ladies thoughts on doing their husband orally:
- The majority of women say they like to perform oral sex on their husband. Fifty percent said they enjoy it because he does. Forty-one percent really like it and get turned on doing it, and 16% say they love it and it drives them wild to do it. Don’t feel bad asking, she may be happy to do it.
- Seventeen percent don’t like it, but do it “for him”. Nothing wrong with that, but if this is your wife, limit how often she does it and let her know how much it blesses you.
- The biggest problem was ejaculation, with just over a quarter saying they like doing oral except for ejaculation. Ask her to start with her mouth and finish some other way.
- Nine percent complained their guy want them to finish him orally when they would rather have intercourse and 8% are afraid if they do it, he will want nothing else. Let her know you like it, but it’s not the only thing you like.
- Seven percent can’t tell if he is enjoying it, 8% are afraid they can’t do it right, and 8% feel stupid when the do it. Show your appreciation, and give some feedback.
- Four percent say it brings up bad memories. Time may change this, but pushing her to try will only make it worse.
- Seven percent think it would be okay if he washed first. REALLY guys? Come on!
- Eleven percent think it’s gross. I wonder how many of those also said they don’t like ejaculation or their guy does not wash? If she says it’s gross, ask if there is a way you could make it less gross.
- Thirty-six percent like how excited their husband gets doing it. She enjoys you enjoying it – and it probably makes her feel less selfish about it. If you like it, let her know how much you like it!
- Thirty-six percent like it as foreplay but would rather finish with intercourse. Most women like intercourse. Even among those who never climax from it, most feel a need for it. If you want to do oral on her, make it clear it’s her choice how things end.
- Twenty-five percent are only open to it if they just showered, 17% can’t understand why he is willing to do it, and 8% say they feel gross when he does it. This is a major block to women accepting oral sex, and to enjoying it if they do accept it. Work to convince her you do not find it gross, but actually enjoy it (see the men’s stats below for help with that). Let her shower, or shower together as foreplay if it sets her mind at ease.
- Eighteen percent said it was their favourite sex act. You need to know if your bride is one of these, and if she is, make oral part of most lovemaking.
- Thirteen percent like to climax orally if he finishes before she does during intercourse. Don’t make her ask, go for it.
- Ten percent say they don’t get oral nearly as often as they would like. Ask your bride if she wants a bit more oral. Or a lot more oral!
- Eleven percent enjoy oral, but can’t climax from it. If she can’t get there from oral, give her some pleasure then move on. Don’t make it a point of pride!
- Eight percent said it’s the only sure way they can climax, and 4% said it’s the only way they can climax at all. If this is your bride, give her what she needs!
- Forty-five percent of men love the smell/taste, and another 34% like it. That means 79% of men ENJOY how a woman’s genitals taste and smell. What’s more, only 4% said they dislike the smell/taste.
- Sixty-eight percent of men say doing it turns them on. Only 2% said they do it but don’t like it. So it’s not “just for her” – he enjoys it.
- Fourteen percent want to try but are told no.
- Ten percent would like to do it to orgasm, but she says no. Only 6% said they like to do it but don’t want to finish her that way. Ladies, don’t feel selfish, he wants to!
- Forty percent want it more often. But keep reading.
- Thirty-one percent don’t care if she swallows or not, 27% would like it but it’s not important to them, and 4% don’t want her to swallow. That’s two-thirds who are fine with her not swallowing. Only 8% said swallowing was important to them.
- Twenty-three percent want it only for foreplay, preferring to finish with intercourse. Conversely, 11% say it’s their favourite sex act. Ladies, a few men may only want oral, but they are the minority.
- Twenty-three percent get oral sex, but not to climax.
- Twenty-one percent say they enjoy how excited she gets doing it. Fifteen percent feel she is just going through the motions. Attitude is a big part of oral sex.
- Fourteen percent say her not doing it is a minor problem for their sex life while 5% say it’s a major problem. However, this is more than half of those not getting it, so for those being told no it’s an issue.
- Eight percent worry they are using their wife when she does oral. Ladies, don’t do it if you feel used and let him know you would not if you did.