I saw a movie promo the other day for a remake of “Total Recall”. The premise is it is possible to record memories and inject them into others, resulting in the person thinking they have actually lived those things.
I wish I could do this with marriage – inject into every husband and wife what it is like to be in a truly great marriage. Imagine feeling, knowing, what it is like to trust and be trusted, to be best friends, to have an awesome sex life, to want and need to be together. If I could give that to people, I think the vast majority of them would then do everything in their power to change their marriage. I think most would find they could do things they now feel are beyond their ability. If they understood what they could have, I know most people would be willing to do a great deal and sacrifice a lot.
Of course, I cannot do this. However, I can tell you how powerful it would be. I had the marriage full of pain and suffering, and now I have a marriage full of love, and joy, and plenty of sex. I have known both sides, and I would half kill myself to have what I have now if I lost it.
Please do not take the sour grapes approach and tell yourself a good marriage really is not so great. Please do not think there is anything else that will make up for not having a great marriage, because there is not. My suggestion is to go all out, do not hold back at all. A great marriage is a prize worth any cost – fight for it with all you have.
And yes, I know she won’t change, and most of it is her fault anyway. I know there is some truth in that, but not as much as you tell yourself. Even if you are right, you can fight for a better marriage. I am sure there are women who are so far gone nothing will make a difference, but I am convinced those women are very few.