“Then the LORD God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.’ … But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, ‘This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.’” [Portions of Gen 2:18-24 ESV]
I doubt God was surprised that Adam was alone and needed someone, and I do not think God expected Adam to find what he needed in any of the animals. I think God did what He did, the way He did it, so Adam would realise how much he needed Eve. God made Adam long for a partner, made him really want it, so he would properly appreciate Eve.
Imagine what it was like for Adam. Here was someone who was like him – not like the animals who could not communicate with him, and not like God who was beyond his understanding. Here was someone with whom he could share his curiosity and wonder, someone who could appreciate the adventure of life. Here was someone Adam could help and protect, and someone who could love and care for him in return. She was similar but different, she had things Adam did not, she filled him out, and she made him more complete. What about sex? I do not know if Adam had any drive or awareness of sexuality before Eve, but imagine the words of praise he must have had for God after he experienced the great joy and pleasure of becoming physically one with Eve!
So, what about you – have you forgotten how much you wanted a wife? Do you remember the emptiness, the ache of being alone even when you were with people? Do you recall how much you wanted a woman you could call your own?
A couple of years before I got married, when I deep into wanting to be married, I went with a group of men from my church to an Ed Cole Christian Men’s Network meeting. The meeting was four hours away, and we drove back after it was over Saturday evening. I was in a car with three men who were married, and as it got late they started to discuss how they were going to get home late and tired, and have to get up for church in the morning, and their wives were going to want to talk about the meeting. I listened to them complain about this until I could hold back no longer. I blasted them for not caring about their wives, for missing what Ed had said about how important it was to share their life and their experiences with their wives, and I ended with how much I wished I had a woman waiting at home for me, keeping me awake because she deeply desired to share my life. We then drove in silence for quite a while. I wonder if any of those men went home and gave their wife an extra-long hug and some words of appreciation.
I know your bride is not perfect. I know she has failed you. I know she does not meet all your needs, and frustrates you at times. Please try to remember when you were single, and why you longed to be married. Do not focus on the parts that have not worked out, look on all the parts that have worked out. Then give your bride an extra-long hug and a few words of appreciation.
Links to blog posts that stood out to me this last week:
If You Want a Healthier Husband or Wife ◄ “Don’t let health fears keep you from being fully present in your marriage .” YES!
The Generous Wife
In Praise of Mini-Vacations ◄ My bride’s take on short vacations.
Take on a New Challenge ◄ I share this primarily to brag on my bride (live with it!)
Sexual Partner ◄ Any of you who avoid or say no to sex need to read this!
One Flesh Marriage
5 Things You Must Do When Your Spouse Has An Affair ◄ A good starting place.
An Expectation That Will Never Be Met ◄ You have to talk!
5 Truths of Sexual Temptation ◄ A great guest post.
Romantic Act of the Day
Me, Write a Love Letter? ◄ You can!
Being bored isn’t boring ◄ Speaking of margin …
Stupendous Marriage Show 054: Bachelor Party in Vegas? ◄ Would you do that?