A healthy woman is a better wife

August 18, 2012

in Beyond the Marriage, Good Marriage, Headship/Submission, Her Needs

Manicure and Pedicure © Soleilc | Dreamstime.com

Yesterday I talked about the importance of being emotionally, mental, spiritually, and physically healthy, and how you cannot be the husband your bride deserves if you are not healthy in all those ways. Of course, the same is true for her; she cannot be the wife you want and deserve if she is not healthy in all those same ways. Moreover, the odds are she is even further from where she should be than you are. Many women have bought into the lie they are supposed to sacrifice 24/7, and always be the one who goes without. I suspect this is a combination of how their minds work (they are usually more natural caregivers) and what society (and the church) puts on them. Regardless of why, if she is too prone to ignoring her needs you need to help her.

Helping her take better care of herself can be tricky. She may feel guilty about doing things for herself, or taking time for herself. If time or money are tight, she may always put herself last and feel she is robbing others if she does otherwise. You may have to be a bit pushy, and may even have to risk making her a bit upset with you, just to get her to do something for her or take some time for herself. Trust me, it will be worth it, and after you do it a few times, she will be less likely to fight you.

Even if your bride is all for this, she may need your help to make it happen as often as it should. It is also possible she is good about this much of the time, but loses track when she is stressed or busy. Try to be an “outside check” for her, nudging her when she needs some down time or play time.

Finally, be aware her cycle can have a big influence on her need to care for herself. Learn when in her cycle she is most likely to need something, and be ready to help or get out of the way as appropriate.

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3 comments
Heather
Heather

Wow this is so true. As a new wife, I have totally put my health on the back burner. Before I got married, I lost about 10 pounds or so, and was doing good - then as soon as we got married, I started to gain weight because I felt I had to sacrifice all my time waiting for him, cooking, waiting for him at the house (I work full time also, I have to for now, to pay bills), and he eats about 4x as much as me, so I've put back on the weight I lost. I hope I can show him this blog and maybe he can read a little of it. I'm sure he would be willing, we are Christians and we seek to please God with our marriage, it's just that sometimes we need to become aware that we are even doing wrong or could serve each other more. We do enjoy sports, but most of the time, I'm so tired from all the running around that we do, that I just want to come home and relax. Prior to marriage I had a lot of "me" time and didn't even eat that much. He's very active, and works a very physical job, so he needs the food. I however, do not need even 1/3 of what he eats to satisfy my body but often end up eating more because he criticizes me if I don't eat that much, saying I'm not eating enough. Then we have a little tiff. So I'm not sure what to do. Good article.

Gaye
Gaye

Very good points. One of the best things that wives and husbands can do for their health is to get regular exercise. As you mentioned, wives are sometimes (often!) unwilling to take that time for themselves. Exercise can do so many wonderful things for women - we feel better, sleep better, have more energy, are better able to lose weight, and feel better about our bodies when we are physically active on a regular basis. I encourage husbands to help their wives find the time to be active. Even better, be active together!

Kate s.
Kate s.

One of the best things my hubby did for me was get an all-included gift certificate to a day spa AND arranged for childcare so I didn't have to feel burdened or guilty for dumping my kids off on someone so I could have fun. It was bliss and my confidence and wellness was boosted for months!

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