Increase your R factor

September 14, 2012

in Good Marriage, Her Needs

Hand print on icy window © Anest | Dreamstime.com

Yesterday I discussed the need to insulate your marriage. But how do you do that?

  • Check for drafts: Are you nagging her, or making negative comments? Drafts from your mouth need to be stopped!
  • Insulate her with compliments: Tell her, repeatedly, how beautiful and wonderful she is. This forms a thick layer of insulation that keeps the cold out and the warmth in.
  • Seal up cracks: Don’t leave little space between what you promise and what you do. Being a man of your word helps her stay warm.
  • Double pane your windows: In other words, watch your eyes. If you are glancing at other women, or porn, she feels it even if she does not see it. When she does not feel it, she does not lose heat as easily.
  • Keep a blanket handy: Hugging is powerful, reassuring, comforting, and it feels safe. Does she know you are there to wrap your arms around her any time she feels a chill?
  • Have thick, solid walls: Create healthy boundaries to protect your marriage, including limits on your relationships with women.
  • Get thick curtains: Some parts of your marriage should not be exposed, they should be private.
  • Know the seasons: Do not push her to do things for you when the marriage is running cold.
  • Provide shade: Good insulation also keeps out unwanted heat, like the heat she can take from your work, or your family.
  • Ventilate as needed: Some modern homes are so “tight” the air becomes unhealthy. Privacy is needed, but be sure there is enough input from others to keep your marriage healthy.

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5 comments
Victoria
Victoria

Great post. Any suggestions for traveling spouses? We are a military family and he is gone any where from 2 weeks to all month a lot of months. I read today's post on sex to the wives, and while we do all those things, he is gone so much, and has a low drive when he is home, the physical all but isn't possible. It leaves me with doing these things, which are great, but is there more I can do? I often feel alone, unloved, and hopeless.

travis
travis

On "Double pane your windows"... I'm trying to get into the habit of not scoping out other women. I will do well for a while but then lose the motivation to keep trying. It takes a lot of energy to face the constant barrage of temptation, but I'm hoping that once it is a habit, it will be easier. Any tips to stay motivated while the new, good habit develops?

Bill
Bill

Great series. Maybe you could turn it into a pamphlet for marriage seminars. Keep up the great work Paul.

Steve
Steve

That's an interesting analogy. Ive never thought of it that way before.

Kate s.
Kate s.

I am a wife, but this list is GOOD! I want to print it out!

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