If I said to a group of women “Sex is important to men” I would almost surely have someone ask “Why?”. If I told a group of men their wives need more time talking with them, I would probably get “Why?”.
The same thing happens during one on one or couple to couple talks when we suggest a husband or wife needs more respect, or loving words, or time together, or whatever it seems one of them needs. “Why?” is one of the most common responses to such information, and it is usually a bad sign.
It would be find if the “why” was because the person wanted to understand so they could be a better spouse. If they were just curious, no problem. However, “Why?” is most often the opening gambit in explaining why the spouse does not need whatever, or does not deserve it, or why it’s just not reasonable at this time to expect it to happen.
If your spouse needs something from you, why they need it is irrelevant to what you should do. They need it; either you do your best to provide it, or you don’t. The first is loving, the second is not. It is that simple.