My bride, aka “the little woman” (NOT!) had a great post yesterday, in which she explained why she does not use (and does not care for) the term “help meet” – as found in some translations of Gen 2:20. Her beef is that “help meet” is a very poor translation of the Hebrew words ezer kenegdo. I encourage you to go read the post Why I Don’t Use the Words “Help Meet”.
I completely agree with my bride on this, both the theology and the sad results coming from it. Yes, I believe the Bible is true, and means what it says, but it means what GOD said, not what some person says it means. The Word warns us about false prophets, and one of the most common forms of false prophets today are those who redefine words and twist scriptures to make the Bible seem to say something that never entered into the mind of God!
Why would any man want a wife who did not have opinions of her own? I thank God (literally and often) I have a wife who will tell me when she thinks I am wrong. Of course, I want her to do it nicely (which she does) but I really do want and need her to do it. I am glad she tells me when she sees a different way, because sometimes it is better, and sometimes it leads me to think of something better than either my original thought or her suggestion. It is wonderful my bride does not think as I do; she has a different perspective, different talents, and different experiences, which means she can add to my wisdom. Additionally, she often understands people better (especially people with internal gonads) and I benefit from her sharing her perspective.
Yes, I am the head, and yes, she submits; but that does not mean I am smarter or always have the best plan. This is not a headship issue, it is a matter of who we are – of who God says we are. I don’t see this as a women’s issue, because it affects me as a husband. If my wife does not properly see who she is in God, I lose. If my bride does not feel free to share her perspective, we both lose. If she sees herself as somehow less because she is a woman, she cannot feel free to share her perspective, and we both lose. If I buy into the unbiblical idea she exists just to be my helper, then she will feel like she is less, and we both lose. When we get this right, our marriages grow; when we get it wrong, our marriages shrink.