3 Gifts a Month

October 3, 2012

in Acts of Service, Encouragement, Gifts, Quality Time, Understanding Her

Gifts: It’s supposed to be the thought that counts, but is it?

Gift box | freedigitalphotos.net

For most of us, it is. A gift says, “I was thinking of you” and a gift that has special meaning or relevance says, “I know you well”. These are things you want to communicate to your bride, and regular small gifts do so well. I say small as in “it’s not the cost, it’s the thought”. Aim for three gifts a month –  which might mean four one month and two the next. If the gifts are small and inexpensive, most months will cost you little more than a trip to St. Arbucks.

Some ideas to get you started

  • Flowers Yes, the classic, and for good reason. Do a flower or flowers once a month.
  • A card Yes, a real paper-in-an-envelope card. Write something nice, and it is very much a gift.
  • Coupons This is the perfect gift for an acts of service gal, or to gift your time. The Marriage Bed has some nice print your own coupons.
  • Collectables Preferably something she has already chosen. This could be a specific item, such as a brand of figurine, or anything with a certain symbol or animal on it.
  • Candy, nuts, or whatever – if she is not on a diet!
  • Anything given to disappearing at your house Pens, scissors, AA batteries …
  • Bookmarks If she is a reader.
  • Pampering items Such as bubble bath, hand lotion, scented soaps …

Wrap your gifts, or not. Leave them out, or hide them where she will come across them.

Is three gifts a month a lot? Maybe, but the process of thinking about it, of trying to come up with better and better ideas, will help you know her better, and tell her you are getting to know her better. It is a win/win!

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4 comments
Jason
Jason

Another thing that disappears at the house... Umbrellas. Cheap enough where she will appreciate a new one.

Hannah Williams
Hannah Williams

I teach a class twice a week at a local school, but due to traffic and stoplights, it usually takes me half an hour to get there. Today my husband printed out an Arby's coupon for me so that I didn't have to worry about lunch before work. It was so thoughtful, and it was nice not to have to worry about making anything. Also when he picked me up from work, he brought me a drink he had picked up at Target because he knows how often I come out of class and my mouth is dry because I've been talking a lot (usually over the kids... I have a talkative class). It made my day! Two thoughtful gifts and it's not even my birthday!

Brian
Brian

If your spouse does not have "gifts" as their primary, or even secondary love language, this is a real challenge! My wife actually loves practical over extravagant or indulgent, and values saving over spending. It has been a challenge to find gifts that truly make her heart resonate... but each one that is successful, as you say, helps me know her that much better!

Shadow
Shadow

I just wanted to say that that what you do on this blog is a wonderful thing. Very few men that I know would ever think about giving a gift outside of birthdays and Christmas. And none of them maintain a few dates a month routine. I don't give 3 gifts a month (something else I can start working on!), but I have always felt self conscious about doing nice or corny things for my wife that make her feel good because I usually get some comments from some of my guy friends (my wife talks to their wives, you know how that goes). Guess I shouldn't let them interfere with my married life :) Thanks for all of the wonderful advice you give!

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