First, a confession – I have no idea what four words you should never say to or in front of your wife. What’s more, the list is probably larger than four. However, I can help you narrow down the list by giving you common problems areas.
- Painful family words: Never use words her family used to shame, tease, or control her. This could be something like “stupid” or a nickname she hated. I do not mean a loving name she liked; I am talking about mean ones, or ones that felt mean to her. These words have deep and painful roots, and nothing good comes from you tugging at those.
- Painful childhood words: Much like the above, but from school and other places she interacted with other kids when she was growing up. Kids can be exceptionally cruel, and even friends can be hurtful by teasing past what is fun.
- Painful sex words: Some women do not care what words you use for sex, while others are very sensitive to anything she would not hear in a doctor’s office. A great many women have a rather violent internal reaction to a certain word starting with “c”. Whatever her no go sex words, using them is making things worse for you both in and out of bed.
- Sarcasm and insults: Unless she grew up the only girl with several bothers, odds are she does not enjoy sarcasm and teasing insults the way your buddies do. Save it for the guys, and treat her differently.
All of these are personal and vary from woman to woman. A word that offends one woman is a loving nickname to another; a word that means “I like you” to one woman is a deep insult to another. If you have been paying attention, you should have some idea what words bother her. You could also just ask her. Give the categories above as a guide, or ask her for a list of a few words she would like to never hear from your mouth.